It’s also weird how every prop on the tray is photoshopped in. Did the person making this image not even have physical access to the tray?
I can only assume that photography is illegal in China
Don’t know about others, but I’ll spin around dolphin-style and/or try and float.
I wish I could float. I can swim but floating ain’t an option no more because of my bone density.
I mostly stare into the abyss.
I mean… It’s got a prop for your porn tablet and lots of room for magic wands, dildos and vibrators.
That tray looks perfect for masturbating in the tub.
wh–do other people with vaginas jerk off in the tub!? I specifically stopped taking baths because my snatch kept slurping water then ejecting it into my underwear later. Yick.
Maybe it wouldn’t have been so rude if you gave it a straw to drink like a civilised people.
it puts the coochie in the bath or else it gets the straw again
I use the tub to see if a giant shit increases or decreases my volume
"An object fully immersed in water displaces an amount equal to its volume.
An object floating in water displaces an a amount equal to its weight." -Some Eureka guy
Eureka!
I did not know that about cunt physics
I didn’t either so imagine my fuckin surprise 💀
Now there’s a mental image.
would it be more or less embarrassing to tell people the truth or that you just peed yourself?
haha fortunately it only happened at home & not an amount that would have made it outside clothes anyway
I’m the kind of person that tells internet strangers that my cunt vacuumed bath water. you bet I’d be slinging that cognitohazard of truth to anyone unlucky enough to be present lmao
honestly, that’s better conversation than whatever gossip normal people talk about.
I wish my genitals had those powers, What’s the point of having the shape shifting straw model if it won’t do any silly straw shenanigans.
I didn’t really think of it as a “power” but now that you mention it, I could probably prank the hell out someone with some wacky nonsense. Voof some guava jelly and shoot 'er out the cooter during sex. SURPRISE!!! 🤪
(this will likely never happen as I’m perpetually single. gee i wonder why)
you can make sure your partner never gets thirsty while being eating out. that’s their loss
Well that would give a whole new meaning to the phrase “eating her out”
“And up here is the squirt catcher”.
I am extremely gay and also don’t know how women use the bathtub but that is how I would design it for men.
Alright fellas, let’s brainstorm this out. What do the ladies do in the bath?
I wish women were real. They’re so pretty.
From what I’ve read about them in books they seem really great
especially when they go down staircases, I’ve read
just become one.
but then I couldn’t go on the internet! everyone knows there are no girls on the internet!
I think it was that there are no grills online.
but by now there are wi-fi enabled grills, so anyways…
That’s it we’re forcefemming op and having a tea party
women 🍵
IDEA: Sir, is it possible we have things completely backwards? Perhaps it is the candles that go in the bath and the woman who goes on the tray.
Give this man a raise for single handedly inventing the candle watching bridge!
By god that might just be it!
IDEA: Demographic analysis suggests that women are invigorated by the presence of many thousands of stuffed animals while sleeping. Perhaps the tray is for holding her Squishmallows while she luxuriates in the lavendar-scented bathwater.
My wife has one, there’s a couple of unburned candles on it, a battery powered lighter, some potpourri and a tablet stand.
I knew she uses the tablet stand, I think everything else is just because she likes the way it looks in these advertisements.
I’m one of them and I have no idea… why would you want to sit in your own filth? I’m also not a fan of swimming pools or jacuzzis.
you shower before the bath
Ok l, no one tell her that air is technically a fluid, so she is already swimming in filth.
Gas is a distinct state of matter. Or rather, a stinky state of matter
As you get older, you will sometimes find that your gas has unexpectedly become a solid, or even worse, a fluid 😰.
That’s the “fun” thing about science, because different disciplines decided to reuse the words from other disciplines we get very technical words with multiple meanings.
So communal baths are right out?
If I drink that much coffe I’ll poop in the bathtub
Easy clean up.
And the opportunity to waffle stomp.
Thats what YMCAs are for
Not sure if good or bad thing
I feel personally attacked!
Same model! Good for keeping the wine glass dry on the outside and popping up the kindle
I would love one of these with a dish drying rack. I like to kill two birds with one stone and save water.
Saving water is why I do all my meal prep while in the shower, but don’t forget to install a garbage disposal in the drain, or you’ll risk frequent clogs.
…remind me not to eat off any of your dishes
They could kill a third bird by incorporating one of both of their bathroom procedures, eliminating the need for excessive flushing.
Turd bird
Those seem like some specifically designed compartments. What are all of the groves and notches for?
Rolling blunts. You just have to keep your hands dry
I like the vibe of having multiple blunts for a single bath
Careful, this is how you Chandler in the tub
I don’t know that weed could ever bring about the same effects and consequences. iirc it was ketamine that Chandelier used
Ah, half-joking, sorry. I was thinking that I would most likely fall asleep in the water after my third blunt.
Draining the blood away from the meat.
Soap dish (removable), wine glass slot, cell phone stand, drinking glass section. The large part standing up can be used to lean a tablet against.
Orgasm tokens and body paint markers for drawing faces.
Do the orgasm tokens come with the board?
Most of mine happen because I am bored.
Unless that is teak wood would not be my first material choice.
They make boats out of the stuff, I’m sure it will be fine.
Only in salt water actually, wooden boats don’t like fresh water.
Didn’t native Americans use log canoes?
Shit does that mean my dugout won’t last very long?
I’m no expert, my source is Sampson Boat Co mostly, but I suspect dry storage might prevent rotting and it’s mostly an issue with large® ships spending lots of time in water.
That’s a beauty!
Just get yourself a 2.5’x3.5’x5/16” steel plate, accomplishing the same thing.
That has another 2 degrees of freedom and could slide around a lot.
Ah yes, salt, pepper, wine, coffee and a traditional photo stand to look at an actual photograph.
Mmm yes
There’s even some space left for a little jar of marmite!
I suppose they’re trying to show all the things the tray can do, not an accurate representation of a person relaxing in the tub.
That’s salt and pepper? I assumed it was like face creams or something
Face cream? In the bath? Get out of here!
A nice glass of wine to go with the coffee
Sweet Red Espresso Martini
1 oz vodka 1 oz Oliver Sweet Red wine 1.5 oz chilled espresso or cold brew coffee 1 oz simple syrup 1 egg whitePour all ingredients into cocktail shaker. Add ice. Shake vigorously until rich foam forms. Pour into coupe or martini glass. Garnish with espresso beans.
https://www.oliverwinery.com/blog/sweet-red-espresso-martini
That sounds dreadful
I work a lot of fancy events as a caterer and often have a drink behind the scenes, but often these events are in random offices with no bar support, resulting in us drinking strange concoctions.
Spanish coke is popular, which is just red wine and coke. This is probably second only to white wine spritzers. Separately in day events, we’ve found putting espresso into coke over ice is surprisingly okay, I wouldn’t say it’s better than the sum of its parts, but probably on par with normal coke.
So I had the wise idea of shaking espresso, coke, and red wine together, just to see what it tasted like. I’d truly give it a 5/10. Which isn’t bad if not for the fact that I’d give each ingredient alone a 6/10 or better.
Thought for sure this was straight out of an episode of Venture Brothers till I saw your link.
Rusty Venture’s cocktail recipes were an ongoing gag.
What is that he’s dropping? Looks like a slimjim, but the packaging is wrong and it wouldn’t make sense with spaghetti.
And why is the water brown?
It was a chocolate bar. What else do you eat with spaghetti in the bathtub?
If I remember correctly it’s a chocolate bar
Not his first one judging from the water.
Oh, yeah, it looks like one of those “world’s finest” bars they sell for school fundraiser (they’re a lot skinnier than they used to be).
Wouldn’t want your pasta to spoil your appetite for chocolate.
I have the same question as your first, but as for the second: probably whatever he’s dropping isn’t the first thing he dropped and other foodstuff has combined to dye the water.
So he’s sitting in soup.
Depends on your soup alignment
That’s my best guess, yeah.
Now this is what I can get behind on
No tampoon dispencer?
they replaced that with a harpoon dispenser
What could a shower be without a tampoon to the moon?
ADHD brain can’t handle a bath. It’s too much relaxing and not enough doing.
You gotta try farting bubbles
Hence the tray, you do both and it’s better than either. Wish I had one
I guess I could code in the bath. But that might be dangerous.
Close enough?
👀 ngl I’ll say I got this for my 8 year old but we know the truth
Oh man. So risky to own that. I would hyper focus on this and probably end up drowning.
Even showers are 10 minutes of staring at a fkn wall
Get a shower speaker, actually wash yourself in the shower. Wow, a song and a half, guess I’m done.
instructions unclear listened to an entire season of a podcast, am still unwashed but soaking wet, my water bill is now $500, and my fingers are pruny
Not for Cosmo Kramer.
NGL I never understand why people do things in the bath
It’s because the water is hot and comfortable and helps with pain, but it’s boring as heck to sit there long enough to enjoy the pain relief. So you bring a book or a tablet and a snack. Or if you’re extra bad at relaxing, a tablet for show, a phone for game, a sweet treat, a salty treat and a nice cool water to help with the heat
as a gay male I can at least partially help break the illusion:
- it’s warm
- gravity isn’t being as much of a bitch on your joints as it usually is (if you’re over 30 OR breasting so boobily that you have back pain)
thanks i’m here all week
breasting so boobily
I’ve learned a new description for big ‘ol boobies and it’s fantastic.
Why is being a gay male relevant?
Probably because the post is about what women do in the bath and he didn’t want to speak for them
As a straight male I can confirm these benefits.
Unfortunately I don’t have a bathtub that works with a tray- the wall side is too close with the wall :/
But do you achieve your breasting in a boobily fashion?
attach suction cups to one side
I have this fancy suction cup wall handle what like I’m a feeble old poot monster (because I’m a feeble young poot monster) and it’s pretty neat for hanging stuff from and grabbing on to when I don’t feel like falling over.
I’m an uncoordinated middle aged poot monster and can confirm the universal utility of the sucky bar has probably saved me from getting several stitches
It’s relaxing, but I wouldn’t spend hours reading or something, it’s just uncomfortable and you look like a raisin afterwards.
I think if you tried to spend hours in there the water would go cold, but it’s comfortable for, say, 20, 30, maybe 40 minutes, which is enough to read for a bit or watch an episode of a series. It’s indulgent, but it feels relaxing to shut yourself in the bathroom, go into a tub of hot water and relax isolated from the world outside.
It’s a lovely way to unwind after a long day. Soaking in water takes weight off your joints and bones, the heat feels nice, and I’ll usually put a show on my phone to unwind with an episode before I wash up.
It’s the only warm place in the house.
My partner likes to spend a half hour or so reading or watching a show. She uses these trays to hold her book, some bath soap, and some cola light.
Reading actual books (on paper!) in the bathtub is what I’ll never get: How do you flip pages? Do you dry your hands for each page or do you just live with soggy pages? Also the humidity in general is bad for your books… That’s why e-readers are so awesome.
You keep at least one hand out of the water. Maybe have a rag near the book for drying.
I used to take a 30 min bath to ease my dermatitis.
Why even bathing instead of showering? It feels like swimming in your own dirt, while it’s so hot you sweat, but can’t really sweat, because it’s wet too and because it’s wet you can’t really read a book or do something else.
If you’re so incredibly filthy that a bath feels like soaking in your own dirt (no judgement, that’s valid), you could shower first. A bath for me at least isn’t about cleaning yourself, it’s a relaxation thing.
Thank you, tired of all the bath haters saying baths are gross. If you got so dirty that literal dirty clouds are coming off of you like that kid from Charlie Brown, take a shower. But if all you did was get sweaty at the gym today, a bath will get you perfectly clean and isn’t unsanitary.
Alright, actually never tought about that, also since it seems irrational to first use water to clean yourself and then use even more water to sit in. It’s more about the dirty feeling than actually sitting in dirt. Still I think I would prefer a comfy couch instead of a bath.
I don’t usually take a bath to feel clean, I take one to relax
Most relaxing thin on earth is to sweat in your own dirt. Ig opinions differ.
Personally I shower after the bath with cooler water, helps to reset my temp so I’m not sweaty after and obviously to clean up also.
Alright, actually never tought about that, also since it seems irrational to first use water to sit in and then use water to clean yourself. It’s more about the dirty feeling than actually sitting in dirt. Still I think I would prefer a comfy couch instead of a bath.
“Feeling dirty” is probably something more about having trained your mind to be a certain way, and it could be retrained.
For someone with kids and pets and such, a bath might be a more reliable source of comfort and isolation.
I mean, unless you work in a coal mine or in the sewers, you probably aren’t covered in a thick layer of grime when you get in the tub. Most people are going to have a very thin layer of dried sweat and body oil, which will be a tiny, tiny percentage of the water in the tub.
I generally feel the same. Also, bubble bath- not relaxing, because then I’m covered in a thin soapy film and am forced to shower after.
That said, I think it’s a western problem. I didn’t hate baths when I was in Japan. Huge deep tubs, and the entire room is waterproof with a drain, so not only is the bath super deep but you can also overflow it as part of the experience. All that together made all the difference.
Not sure why you are being downvoted - it is a very relaxing thing for many:-).
¯\_ (ツ)_/¯
You can absolutely read a book.
My books live by my bath while I am reading them.
Reading a book is one of the great reasons to bath instead of shower.
If I want to read on a comfy spot, I just sit on my couch. Tried reading while bathing multiple times and there’s just always the feeling and the actual danger that your book gets wet.
Suite yourself.
What can I say, reading in the bath is a high adrenaline lifestyle and I’m a maverick
