I know they don’t look at me like that when I barge in.
It’s also weird how every prop on the tray is photoshopped in. Did the person making this image not even have physical access to the tray?
I can only assume that photography is illegal in China
Don’t know about others, but I’ll spin around dolphin-style and/or try and float.
I wish I could float. I can swim but floating ain’t an option no more because of my bone density.
I mostly stare into the abyss.
I mean… It’s got a prop for your porn tablet and lots of room for magic wands, dildos and vibrators.
That tray looks perfect for masturbating in the tub.
wh–do other people with vaginas jerk off in the tub!? I specifically stopped taking baths because my snatch kept slurping water then ejecting it into my underwear later. Yick.
Maybe it wouldn’t have been so rude if you gave it a straw to drink like a civilised people.
it puts the coochie in the bath or else it gets the straw again
I use the tub to see if a giant shit increases or decreases my volume
"An object fully immersed in water displaces an amount equal to its volume.
An object floating in water displaces an a amount equal to its weight." -Some Eureka guy
Eureka!
I did not know that about cunt physics
I didn’t either so imagine my fuckin surprise 💀
Now there’s a mental image.
would it be more or less embarrassing to tell people the truth or that you just peed yourself?
haha fortunately it only happened at home & not an amount that would have made it outside clothes anyway
I’m the kind of person that tells internet strangers that my cunt vacuumed bath water. you bet I’d be slinging that cognitohazard of truth to anyone unlucky enough to be present lmao
honestly, that’s better conversation than whatever gossip normal people talk about.
I wish my genitals had those powers, What’s the point of having the shape shifting straw model if it won’t do any silly straw shenanigans.
I didn’t really think of it as a “power” but now that you mention it, I could probably prank the hell out someone with some wacky nonsense. Voof some guava jelly and shoot 'er out the cooter during sex. SURPRISE!!! 🤪
(this will likely never happen as I’m perpetually single. gee i wonder why)
“Voof”
Fucking bravo lol
you can make sure your partner never gets thirsty while being eating out. that’s their loss
Well that would give a whole new meaning to the phrase “eating her out”
“And up here is the squirt catcher”.
I am extremely gay and also don’t know how women use the bathtub but that is how I would design it for men.
How do people use bathtubs in general? Genuine question, these things just aren’t common here at where I live at, there is only showers here
Alright fellas, let’s brainstorm this out. What do the ladies do in the bath?
I wish women were real. They’re so pretty.
From what I’ve read about them in books they seem really great
especially when they go down staircases, I’ve read
just become one.
but then I couldn’t go on the internet! everyone knows there are no girls on the internet!
I think it was that there are no grills online.
but by now there are wi-fi enabled grills, so anyways…
That’s it we’re forcefemming op and having a tea party
women 🍵
IDEA: Sir, is it possible we have things completely backwards? Perhaps it is the candles that go in the bath and the woman who goes on the tray.
Give this man a raise for single handedly inventing the candle watching bridge!
By god that might just be it!
IDEA: Demographic analysis suggests that women are invigorated by the presence of many thousands of stuffed animals while sleeping. Perhaps the tray is for holding her Squishmallows while she luxuriates in the lavendar-scented bathwater.
My wife has one, there’s a couple of unburned candles on it, a battery powered lighter, some potpourri and a tablet stand.
I knew she uses the tablet stand, I think everything else is just because she likes the way it looks in these advertisements.
I’m one of them and I have no idea… why would you want to sit in your own filth? I’m also not a fan of swimming pools or jacuzzis.
you shower before the bath
Ok l, no one tell her that air is technically a fluid, so she is already swimming in filth.
Gas is a distinct state of matter. Or rather, a stinky state of matter
As you get older, you will sometimes find that your gas has unexpectedly become a solid, or even worse, a fluid 😰.
That’s the “fun” thing about science, because different disciplines decided to reuse the words from other disciplines we get very technical words with multiple meanings.
So communal baths are right out?
I feel personally attacked!
Same model! Good for keeping the wine glass dry on the outside and popping up the kindle
I would love one of these with a dish drying rack. I like to kill two birds with one stone and save water.
Saving water is why I do all my meal prep while in the shower, but don’t forget to install a garbage disposal in the drain, or you’ll risk frequent clogs.
…remind me not to eat off any of your dishes
They could kill a third bird by incorporating one of both of their bathroom procedures, eliminating the need for excessive flushing.
Turd bird
Those seem like some specifically designed compartments. What are all of the groves and notches for?
Draining the blood away from the meat.
Rolling blunts. You just have to keep your hands dry
I like the vibe of having multiple blunts for a single bath
Careful, this is how you Chandler in the tub
I don’t know that weed could ever bring about the same effects and consequences. iirc it was ketamine that Chandelier used
Ah, half-joking, sorry. I was thinking that I would most likely fall asleep in the water after my third blunt.
Soap dish (removable), wine glass slot, cell phone stand, drinking glass section. The large part standing up can be used to lean a tablet against.
Orgasm tokens and body paint markers for drawing faces.
Do the orgasm tokens come with the board?
Most of mine happen because I am bored.
Unless that is teak wood would not be my first material choice.
They make boats out of the stuff, I’m sure it will be fine.
Only in salt water actually, wooden boats don’t like fresh water.
Didn’t native Americans use log canoes?
Shit does that mean my dugout won’t last very long?
I’m no expert, my source is Sampson Boat Co mostly, but I suspect dry storage might prevent rotting and it’s mostly an issue with large® ships spending lots of time in water.
That’s a beauty!
If I drink that much coffe I’ll poop in the bathtub
Easy clean up.
And the opportunity to waffle stomp.
Thats what YMCAs are for
Not sure if good or bad thing
A nice glass of wine to go with the coffee
Sweet Red Espresso Martini
1 oz vodka 1 oz Oliver Sweet Red wine 1.5 oz chilled espresso or cold brew coffee 1 oz simple syrup 1 egg whitePour all ingredients into cocktail shaker. Add ice. Shake vigorously until rich foam forms. Pour into coupe or martini glass. Garnish with espresso beans.
https://www.oliverwinery.com/blog/sweet-red-espresso-martini
That sounds dreadful
I work a lot of fancy events as a caterer and often have a drink behind the scenes, but often these events are in random offices with no bar support, resulting in us drinking strange concoctions.
Spanish coke is popular, which is just red wine and coke. This is probably second only to white wine spritzers. Separately in day events, we’ve found putting espresso into coke over ice is surprisingly okay, I wouldn’t say it’s better than the sum of its parts, but probably on par with normal coke.
So I had the wise idea of shaking espresso, coke, and red wine together, just to see what it tasted like. I’d truly give it a 5/10. Which isn’t bad if not for the fact that I’d give each ingredient alone a 6/10 or better.
Thought for sure this was straight out of an episode of Venture Brothers till I saw your link.
Rusty Venture’s cocktail recipes were an ongoing gag.
Ah yes, salt, pepper, wine, coffee and a traditional photo stand to look at an actual photograph.
Mmm yes
There’s even some space left for a little jar of marmite!
I suppose they’re trying to show all the things the tray can do, not an accurate representation of a person relaxing in the tub.
That’s salt and pepper? I assumed it was like face creams or something
Face cream? In the bath? Get out of here!
What is that he’s dropping? Looks like a slimjim, but the packaging is wrong and it wouldn’t make sense with spaghetti.
And why is the water brown?
It was a chocolate bar. What else do you eat with spaghetti in the bathtub?
If I remember correctly it’s a chocolate bar
Not his first one judging from the water.
Oh, yeah, it looks like one of those “world’s finest” bars they sell for school fundraiser (they’re a lot skinnier than they used to be).
Wouldn’t want your pasta to spoil your appetite for chocolate.
I have the same question as your first, but as for the second: probably whatever he’s dropping isn’t the first thing he dropped and other foodstuff has combined to dye the water.
So he’s sitting in soup.
Depends on your soup alignment
That’s my best guess, yeah.
Now this is what I can get behind on
Just get yourself a 2.5’x3.5’x5/16” steel plate, accomplishing the same thing.
That has another 2 degrees of freedom and could slide around a lot.
ADHD brain can’t handle a bath. It’s too much relaxing and not enough doing.
You gotta try farting bubbles
Hence the tray, you do both and it’s better than either. Wish I had one
I guess I could code in the bath. But that might be dangerous.
Close enough?
👀 ngl I’ll say I got this for my 8 year old but we know the truth
Oh man. So risky to own that. I would hyper focus on this and probably end up drowning.
Even showers are 10 minutes of staring at a fkn wall
Get a shower speaker, actually wash yourself in the shower. Wow, a song and a half, guess I’m done.
instructions unclear listened to an entire season of a podcast, am still unwashed but soaking wet, my water bill is now $500, and my fingers are pruny
Not for Cosmo Kramer.
No tampoon dispencer?
they replaced that with a harpoon dispenser
What could a shower be without a tampoon to the moon?
