A lot of people don’t know this, but you can put your weed in there.

Bonus points if they had the hard plastic instep so you could grind with them like Soaps.

What brand of safe do you keep the dodo in? I have a thylacine that dashes for the door whenever I come and go.

https://youtu.be/Ryjpbd4D4bg

Easy clean up.

They built a couple more walls around the White House for some reason.

What contractor would even consider doing anything for this shitty tasteless moneypit of a sub human? He never posts his bills.

Even when he has access to public funds to pay for his horrible ideas, nobody gets paid but he and his chronies.

This is me. I have three unfinished scifi/horror manuscripts that will probably remain so because I took so long to write them that the future I created would be a boring dystopia if it got published today.

Post apocalyptic stuff still sells, though, or stuff that is so esoteric and far in the future that it’ll be timeless for another 20-50 years.

They’ll probably start collecting rainbow bracelets off of people they beat up as trophies.

You never see someone taking a shit while running at full speed. -George Carlin

I worked at a grocery store during lockdown and Celtic Sea salt trended on tick tock. We couldn’t keep that shit on the shelf. One or two dudes would clean us out as soon as we restocked and flip it online for a huge markup.

It’s just fucking salt. You’d have to eat a pound of it to get any sort of benefit from the trace minerals.

Yeah, somebody hasn’t refreshed their browser since 2010.

Using Augusten Burroughs for their marketing was their first mistake.

I’ve got nothing to hide ;)…

Had TSA take me aside and X-ray my laptop for a good 20 minutes last time I flew.

To be fair, the laptop had a sticker that insinuated drug use, but it’s not like I had hidden a thousand doses of Mega LSD under the SSD (which it really looked like they were scanning for).

I imagine they asked you to power the baby off and on whilst they hid behind a blast shield.

That is a bit presumptuous. A tradesman may know their tools inside and and out. They aren’t necessarily a jobber that knows how to push the power button and point the electrode at the problem to be solved.

Is it odd that a patient exists to assuage therapists?

I, personally, would ruin this method. I usually end up massaging my therapists and there really isn’t a slot to explain that on the insurance forms.

A logical response.