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when i first heard about the male loneliness epidemic i was like oh yeah close camaraderie and bonding between men is often discouraged in favor of competition or, if not discouraged, at least filtered through a lens of individualism that precludes deep connections. and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid) to which i say skill issue
to all the men out there not getting laid: try less hard to get laid and try more hard to be an enjoyable and relaxing presence
I mean it also does mean the first thing tho no?
I’ve only rarely heard it used as a shorthand for “I/we/you can’t get laid”. I’ve always interpreted it to mean the first thing. OP isn’t wrong about the second though, honestly. It is a skill issue.
Only if youre ableist.
Sure, there are a minority of people who have legitimate physical disabilities that make it difficult for them to get laid, or impossible to have sex at all. I was under the impression that we were discussing the general case, though. I’m not going to prefix every comment I make with a statement about the exceptions when I’m speaking casually.
It makes conversation awkward and difficult to follow, because you have to dig through the throat-clearing and ass-covering to figure out what the person is trying to say. If you want to discuss those exceptions, feel free to bring them up, but if you feel that I’m ableist for refusing to pad out all my comments with performative acknowledgements to satisfy your asinine sense of morality, then I don’t know what to tell you. Well, actually, I guess I do: “No”.
Right, it’s very early and I rarely (if ever) have a sexual appetite, so Imma need clarification: how is getting laid not a skill issue? It is my understanding that if people want it enough, they find ways to change themselves or their circumstances to make it happen.
Just like how if people want to be billionaires enough, they find ways to change themselves or their circumstances to make it happen. People only have partial control over who they are and the circumstances they’re in, and the changes they’re able to make don’t always make a difference here.
depends on your circles. in feminist and leftist circles, it usually means the first
but most men outside of those circles use it just to mean “im not getting the dates i am ENTITLED to 😡”
I don’t know who gave you that idea, but it’s incorrect
That would be my husband’s friend from college who despite getting lots of interest on dating apps; wants nothing to do with any of the women interested in him.
And I quote:
Too fat
Too old
Too skinny
Too young
Butter face
She has a PHD
She has kids
Etc etc
wat.
Apparently some guys seem to have problems dating women who are better educated than them for some reason. I don’t get it and neither does my husband but it is a thing.
Actively wanting to date someone less intelligent than oneself feels like predatorial behaviour.
The number of predatory men in the dating scene in the USA would horrify the few decent men who show up. There are very many women who would rather be trapped in a room with a bear than with a random man.
At least when a bear attacks us does no one doubt that it happened to us; the same cannot be said about men.
Wait until you find out about the order of magnitude of greater doubt there is when a man is attacked by a woman.
Signed, a male who was molested by a female as a child, then told it’s literally “impossible” for rape to happen in that direction when he futilely sought support.
I can’t believe people are downvoting you, I totally heard something similar about some guys who don’t like dating women who make more money than they do… It’s just kinda funny to see “PhD” sticking out like that…
And then, on the other hand, are women who don’t like dating men who don’t make more money than they do: https://nypost.com/2019/09/25/women-are-struggling-to-find-men-who-make-as-much-money-as-they-do/
I haven’t got along well with any of the women with PHDs I’ve known but it wasn’t a very large sample size for me to write them off as a whole. If I ran into too many more that had the same personality type as the ones I met I might consider it though because they were frustrating to be around. It wasn’t that they were smarter than me, it was that they wouldn’t even listen to me on subjects I was more knowledgeable about.
Sounds like they were just inconsiderate people. I have seen that same behavior in people who didn’t even finish High school.
She has higher education -> She earns more -> “She can’t be earning more than me, I’m supposed to provide for the household!!!”
I assume it’s something along those lines?
Perhaps it’s a self worth thing. If she’s making more than you, what reason does she need to keep you around if someone else comes along?
Most who have pursued a PhD, and all who attain it, are the lost ones.
These poor souls live only a half life now. He was right to fear her.
We have walked through the valley of insanity, bashed our heads on the walls of frustration only to seek the next valley, the next wall for we thought we glimpsed enlightenment only a decade ago and have dreamed of it since. Sayeth not whether one draws close or hath traversed a false path. Half a life! Bah! A whole life and more is demanded and others too drawn in, burn thy candle from every end lest thou be cursed with an eternal postdoc and irrelevance.
PhD=permanent head damage lol.
“She has spent many years pursuing one small insignificant thing. Surely she will not give up on me any sooner!”
e: the more I think about it, the less sense it makes. wouldn’t even the manliest man want an advisor who is smarter than he? What Arthur does not have his Merlin? What Corleone does not have his consigliere?
I know. PhD —> YES
I understand this perspective only if someone wants to remain childfree; it’s impossible to compromise on having kids or not, you either do or you don’t
If it’s just because he only wants his own biological kids, I’m less sympathetic
Depends on the specific circumstances, but i feel like it can be just as much of an issue, if you want children and don’t even care if they are biologically related to you.
Depending on how much the other parent of ones stepchildren is involved in their lives and their age, taking on a parenting role might not be wanted or even allowed. So you might have children living in your house, but won’t ever have a complete parental relationship with them. You will always have that additional relationship that needs to be build around, whether that be vacations or where you live.
That’s fair - I suppose there is more complexity & nuance for those situations than I initially thought about
Honestly, though, that sounds like an avoidant attachment style. He desperately wants intimacy, but it scares the bejeezus out of him, so he unconsciously finds a way to sandbag every potential connection.
Andrew Tate and Ben Shapiro say it’s spot on.
And you listen to them to figure out what’s correct and what isn’t?
Ahh yes, the absolute fucking idiots that are proud they don’t know how to cook or do laundry… Yep, they’re paragons of understanding things!
No hate OP but I hope you find better friends someday.
Oh, so it’s just the deliberate misunderstanding of a nuanced term, like what they did with toxic masculinity.
You got that backwards. Feminist and lefty leaning circles routinely dismiss the first as the second which is partly responsible for pushing young men further right.
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