transcription: how it started: wrapping chord around controller. how its going: shibari

  • Cevilia (she/they/…)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    12 hours ago

    Unfortunately my local kink community is toxic af. So I just do stuff with my wife. Sadly she’s nowhere near as kinky as me and doesn’t really get much out of it other than my happiness, so it doesn’t really properly scratch the itch :(

    • BambiDiego@lemmy.world
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      9 hours ago

      I was gonna give you a hard time for saying something like this on such a public forum but honestly, you’re communicating and being genuine, both good things.

      Do your thing, and I wish you luck with finding what you seek.

    • Pelicanen@sopuli.xyz
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      9 hours ago

      Out of curiosity (please feel free to disregard if the question is too personal), when you’ve partaken in kinky activities with other people, has it been sexual in nature or have they been other types of experiences?

      I’m not very knowledgeable about that world but I’ve always sort of associated it with sexual gratification, I have heard fairly recently that a pretty large portion of people engage in it without involving sex and I’m just curious about what kind of enjoyment is involved in that case.

    • Pennomi@lemmy.world
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      17 hours ago

      Don’t let your dreams stay dreams! It’s pretty cheap to pick up some coreless nylon rope at your local hardware store. There are great free tutorials here, even for self-tie.

      It’s a little surprising but rope is a great way to meet new people and make friends.

      • moonlight@fedia.io
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        14 hours ago

        I don’t think it’s the price of the rope that’s the issue, haha

        I have some proper rope, but nobody to use it on and self tying just makes me sad :(

        • Pennomi@lemmy.world
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          14 hours ago

          The price of rope can get quite expensive depending on the quality and where you buy it from.

          But yeah, finding people to tie with can be a challenge. I know in my area there are multiple groups that do it, and while it was really scary to reach out the first time, it turns out they are charming, friendly people. Definitely worth a shot.

          (I mean, I’m in a city, might be harder in less-populated areas.)

      • LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works
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        17 hours ago

        Thanks for the advice! I know there are people who are into self-tying, but for me that doesn’t really scratch the itch. One of these days I really should check out the local community for this kind of stuff…

        • AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net
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          11 hours ago

          There are often rope workshops geared at beginners. I find these quite accessible to people who are new to this scene. The rope specific workshops I’ve seen often involve no overtime sexual stuff (aside from the kinky undertone of such an event). For example, the ones I’ve seen advertised or have attended were events with no nudity.

          I liked that I could turn up and be match with someone to either tie up, or to tie me up. At more general kink events where there’s other kinds of play going on, then finding someone to do rope stuff with follows typical social script stuff. It can be daunting to want to find someone who you trust who you can explore rope stuff with in that context. At a workshop, the platonic vibe of it all means that there isn’t that kind of pressure. You don’t have to worry so much about building rapport with the person you’re tying with (beyond developing the basic communication skills involved in tying someone up/being tied up), because the event teacher(s)/supervisor(s) are there to help ensure everything stays safe (emotionally and physically).

          In my area, fetlife is where stuff like this is advertised, but you would probably have good success googling something like “[your area] [rope labs/shibari workshop]”. It shouldn’t be too hard to find something. People running events like this tend to have an easier time finding venues because the events are not sexual per se. Workshops usually charge money; in my area, I’ve seen sessions costing between £5-£20. This feels very reasonable, and feeling like I’m purchasing a service (the tuition and also the safe space to participate in) helps a lot. I found the focussed context of the workshop more accessible than attending a general BDSM munch. It reminds me of how I enjoy getting to know new people through board games and similar activities — I find social stuff easier when there’s a task or activity to focus on.

          I’d strongly recommend you see what’s available near you. It sounds like you’re quite intrigued about this, to the extent that it seems inevitable that you’ll end up exploring this eventually. If you agree with that assessment of things, then I’d argue that it would be wise to try out one of these events; it would be unfortunate if you end up spending a lot of time stewing in wistfulness. That’s the vibe I get from your comment — I related to the tone of it, because for a long while, I was curious about this scene, but it can feel so daunting and inaccessible to actually begin getting involved with, even if you understand that it’s quite a welcoming community. Workshops can be a great entry point that also feels lower stakes than generally getting involved with the scene

          • Pennomi@lemmy.world
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            9 hours ago

            Agreed, rope is more “extreme sport” than kink for a lot of people. Beginner events are generally low-pressure. It’s not nearly as scary as people generally have in mind, and I’m saying that as someone who finds it hard to go out and meet people.

    • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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      17 hours ago

      Yeah, I never get this meme. If that’s OP’s life, good for them. Very humblebrag.

  • maria [she/her]@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    19 hours ago

    oooh- whats that blue thingy in the right pick?,.-

    also…,. imma be honest n say that i kinda,… like - umm… the too-only kinda roping is… iduno - it jus doesnt feel as spicy in my onion—.,. mayb im jus yappin tho, prolli will change onion later when i got actual layers to put on it.

    • lost_faith@lemmy.ca
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      15 hours ago

      blue thingy

      A latex/nitrile glove

      If this isn’t spicy try suspension, now THAT is spicy

      • LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works
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        6 hours ago

        Different people enjoy different things. Yo paraphrase Sir Terry, if you’re hungry, you’re imagining huge sophisticated dinners, but when it comes to eat, you’re happy with fried potatoes and eggs

      • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        13 hours ago

        My partner and I had our best friend suspended and spanked at a lesbian bar rave for their birthday and it was a HOOT!