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Screenshot of a Tumblr post by nongunktional:
when i first heard about the male loneliness epidemic i was like oh yeah close camaraderie and bonding between men is often discouraged in favor of competition or, if not discouraged, at least filtered through a lens of individualism that precludes deep connections. and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid) to which i say skill issue
to all the men out there not getting laid: try less hard to get laid and try more hard to be an enjoyable and relaxing presence
But if they stop trying to get laid: they also wont get laid because they’ll… not go out and socialize. They’ll probably stay home in their comfortable bubble, play video games, watch youtube or anime or whatever, eat junk food, and jork it. Fall back into a comfy ritual. Catch 22.
And then they’ll look at social media, experience FOMO when it seems like everyone else is fucking or in a happy relationship, get stars in their eyes thinking maybe there is a chance to not be forever alone. Go out and try again and fall flat on their face socially again as they desperately and obviously try to get laid and reek of social ineptitude. And the self loathing is reinforced another notch towards suicidality/blackpilling.
Or they avoid flaring up that sense of loneliness and horniness by just shutting off from socializing (online or offline) entirely. Can’t experience fomo if you try to forget other people exist. But then of course they’ll get cabin fever and start hallucinating the hat man.
Crackpot theory of my own: I also think some of these men, considering how much they complain about how hard it is being men, are not particularly attached to being men at all. If it were convenient and safe and they could ensure they were hot/decent looking at the end of it they’d probably transition into being a girl to just not be lonely anymore. Basically, they’re “conditional eggs” or at least agender. If it becomes medically trivial to become a hot girl that’s what a lot of them would transition to. There was a thing within the incel crowd called “trans-maxxing”. While obviously transitioning with current technology and social acceptance probably wont make their lives easier (despite the transmaxxing manifesto claiming it would) there might be a point in the future where it would. Medical technology is advancing at a pretty crazy rate.
I do wonder what the social gender-divide fabric in that case would look like. What if say, a significant portion of existing men gave up on being men (but where not dysphoric trans, just desperate incels willing to throw away their identity for any intimacy through advanced medical transition). Most transwomen end up being straight once they transition. Either because they were always attracted to men on some level or because there is a significant chance HRT induces a change in who they’re attracted to. If the medical transition technology was advanced enough, it’d probably be possible to increase that probability by demand. This would shift the ratio of hetero women available vs hetero men available. Lower pressure to compete as men since you can just “join the other team” and there would intrinsically be more straight women available vs straight men.
Of course, this would likely upset traditionalists and conservatives. And it’d make TERFs feel vindicated “See! Men just want to possess women’s bodies for sex!” or something.
Brain computer interface haptics + VR/AR or Robot Waifus are probably more likely arrive before trivial “hot girl” transition is possible though and probably more likely to attract more forever-alones & incels than transition. Still a fun thought experiment IMO.
Your rant got it wrong in the first paragraph. People can socialize with or without hitting on others. Ah well, better luck next time!
My autistic rant started out longer and with more context. I cut it down and perhaps too aggressively. I was mainly talking about guys who specifically are less inclined to socialize than to stay home. Which is clearly a lot of people in general, not just hetero-guys.
That is, some hetero men generally only go out with a specific goal or reason to go out and socialize outside of socializing itself because they don’t find that on its own naturally a good enough reason, other than maintaining basic sanity/avoiding cabin fever.
Generally speaking hetero women have different requirements that don’t necessitate consistent socialization or even social skills so if they’re naturally a home-body and barely get out this probably wont be an issue for them dating-wise. If a woman is having issues dating, the advice given is almost never “you need to touch grass more”.
My own context: These days I do enjoy socializing for its own sake. Maybe a little too much considering how expensive it can be… However, I am an autistic guy and I used to think I was straight. I generally spent most of my early adult life staying home playing video games, working, and not otherwise socializing at all for like 5 years of my life like some kind of hermit. Thinking for that things would just work out magically for some reason in terms of romantic relationships for me. So I kind of have some understanding of this particular mentality. I only really got into socializing and “touching grass” originally to find a woman. If I had not had that goal originally I probably would have stayed predominately a loner. Its fortunate that I ended up enjoying being a socialite for its own sake anyway, but not every guy does.