Several things going on here, and they all blend together.

  • She really, really thinks she’s ugly. Nothing debilitating I guess, but enough to scare me off talking about it.

  • Apparently braces are a Filipino thing, for young girls. She’s 54. Being Asian, she looks more like 40, still…

  • I think the above stems from the vanity of showing, “I’m rich enough to afford dental care and braces make me look young.”

  • Her teeth are perfect. When we started dating I asked how much longer she would have to wear them (bottom teeth only). She laughed her ass off like I was so silly! Said it was a fashion thing.

  • She’s very fashionable, so I feel like mentioning the thing would be a direct assault on her self esteem. No problem saying this or that does or doesn’t look good on her, but this feels way more personal than talking about a dress.

  • Now that we’ve been together a couple of years, I’m scared shitless she will think I found her ugly this whole time. Despite the fact I worship the ground she walks on. Daily.

  • No clue on the cost and we’re broke ATM. Maybe wait till I have a good job again?

Before anyone says it, of course we can speak freely to one another, just a sticky case for the reasons outlined. I feel removing her braces is the one thing she could do to be more attractive, and that would be a pretty (heh) big deal. We both put in the effort to be attractive to one another, that’s no big deal. But this one thing feels out-of-bounds, verboten.

Can’t answer till tomorrow. She’s off work in a minute.

  • fodor@lemmy.zipEnglish
    412·
    2 months ago

    I’m a little worried about everything you said involving the ages of her and of the young girls. The word choices are somehow off-putting. Maybe you don’t want to use those types of descriptions when talking to her.

    • shalafi@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      1·
      2 months ago

      Always find comments like this extremely strange. Were you desperate to find something objectionable? It’s a fact the braces are a porn thing, it’s often a suggested search time. That’s not on me. Hell, I’m here asking for advice on helping her ditch them!

      “why are braces a fashion thing in the philippines”

      And the top results all mention the status symbol thing. Not hard to combine that with the looking young thing. And that’s not on me.