26m, so I’ve been working with her for about a year (different areas, same place) and lately I’ve been realizing how much I care about her, which was crazy because up until now I’ve only ever been in relationships with/interested in men so I also found out I’m bi. once it clicked a couple weeks ago I think about her more often than I want to. I don’t plan on pursuing a relationship with her because we really don’t share all that much in common and aside from me being such a hermit outside of work and not mentally available to bring any life to a relationship, she has a boyfriend several states away. I’m happy for her that she does and I just hope he gives her all the time, respect, and care she deserves. I just want that to be the end of the story, like okay, drop it now please. I just don’t know how to get her out of my head like this because I appreciate having her as a friend at work and it’s good enough to have had the opportunity to get to know her like that. she just radiates kindness and positivity, she could boost anybody’s day, she’s just her own person and there’s nobody out there like her, for real everybody cares about her and for good reason. just how can I care about her a little less? even if she was single, even if I was her type, I prefer to stay single regardless so it’s all pointless but I just can’t seem to beat that into my brain. If you got this far I appreciate you 🙏
Spend time with supportive friends and family, indulge your hobbies and cultivate new interests, make new memories that don’t involve that person.
Moment to moment, deal with intrusive thoughts by verbally telling yourself “Stop”. Visualize yourself in your “happy place” - maybe that’s a breezy beach or a peaceful mountain glade. Smell the forest or ocean spray, feel the breeze on your skin and the sand between your toes, visualize details like a rainbow or unicorns frolicking in the surf, hear the waves or rustling leaves .Give yourself a minute there and then continue with whatever you were doing before the unwanted thoughts.