• Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
      2·
      6 days ago

      Sadly I can’t alter others directly due to Wizard Code of Ethics… But yeah we as a species should collectively chill the fuck out I agree.

        • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
          2·
          6 days ago

          I’ll… Erm… Additionally bring muffins with the cookies to the library (work) tomorrow that I promised in a comment below. And double the- no triple the amount!

      • WIZARD POPE💫@lemmy.world
        2·
        6 days ago

        A team of magick inspectors has been dispatched to your location to deliver you the physical version.

        Remember to always report the loss of your physical wizarding license. The electronic variant only will no longer be accepted after the end of september.

        • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
          2·
          6 days ago

          mumbles about the need to validate the physical card every 6 months at an official “Wiz’a’Wiz” store

          Thank you High Councellor, I promise not to burn this card while trying to conjure a fireball, again.

            • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
              1·
              6 days ago

              The darn apprentices keep thinking it’s a bug on my card and keep throwing it out.

                • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
                  1·
                  6 days ago

                  They are a meddling bunch - I keep throwing them out but this generation of apprentices just browse the magiscroll all day, don’t listen, and don’t have manners.

                  They always think they are doing me favours by breaking into my study and “cleaning up” my perfectly organized piles.

    • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
      3·
      6 days ago

      Granted, your pocket is a worm hole into another dimension, but the location hqppens to be a pocket of the same size and constant, stable connection has been created. Making it feel like a normal pocket.

    • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
      3·
      7 days ago

      Thank you. I will make sure to fulfill your wish! Guess I’ll go to the cinema tonight afterall :)

        • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
          2·
          6 days ago

          It was actually pretty good! Thanks for asking :)

          It was the new superman movie. I don’t usually fancy superhero movies, but occasionally join friends to watch. It was good!

          • shplane@lemmy.worldEnglish
            2·
            6 days ago

            Awesome, I still gotta see it but I keep hearing good things. Thanks for letting me know!

    • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
      15·
      9 days ago

      I feel like I shouldn’t joke about this one as it might be more than a flu, so I won’t write a joke comment. I sincerely hope that your niece gets better and I wish them strenght to fight biology against all odds. I know that your niece is loved, because you writing this comment means that they are in your thoughts, and that makes me happy.

      Love them unconditionally and you will also give them strength to carry on and fight their body or external attacks against the body. The world throws shit at us every chance it gets, but your niece is a strong warrior who has survived until now. Support them, give them love, be there for them so they can build up their strenght when it’s momentarily waining.

    • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
      10·
      9 days ago

      Unfortunately I can not directly alter the human mind as it’s against the wizard code of ethics :( But I do that on my own and try to do my best to remove ignorance and hate from the minds of people with the power of projecting compassion where possible. If a human is too deep in their own ignorance, then I try to protect others around them to the best of my ability.

      • Etterra@discuss.onlineEnglish
        6·
        9 days ago

        We’ll I guess I’ll just have to let the SCP Foundation know that I’ve found a dangerous reality bender. Unless you want to rethink that stance.

        • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
          6·
          9 days ago

          I mean… I’m just a jobless dude with a long beard… spare some change? No wizardry or magic hoopity poopitys here sir.

      • 𝕽𝖚𝖆𝖎𝖉𝖍𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖍@midwest.social
        2·
        9 days ago

        Ok, then put a “truthiness” meter on all media, which can’t be removed. It should not beat around the bush: if something is a lie, it should say “lie!” If someone is lying, it should say “liar!” If someone truly believes something, but are simply wrong or misinformed, it should have a truthiness meter.

        It should do this for all news, anything masquerading as news, and televangelists. Fiction presented as fiction without pretense of being fact is exempt.

        The meter should resist all attempts at hiding, filtering, and removal. It should apply to all media.

        • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
          2·
          9 days ago

          I … uh … did I tell you I can conjure a sandwich? Sandwiches are pretty nice. And takes away the helpless feeling we have when we can’t directly affect the world in the way we would like to.

          A sandwich will restore your energy, give you a sense of control (since you choose what your sandwich is made out of) and encourages you to make noise, sign petitions and spread the word about the dangers of mis/disinformation and why someone would want to spread such information.

          Conjure your sandwich, then plant the seed of that truthmeter into the minds of people.

  • Kyrgizion@lemmy.world
    12·
    9 days ago

    Can you bring me some of that “existential wonder” feeling, you know, the opposite of existential dread? I’ve been having a bit of a surplus of the latter, if anyone wants any…

    • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
      7·
      9 days ago

      Granted, please study this scroll (website): https://www.gapminder.org/

      (BEFORE YOU ENTER THAT WEBSITE READ THIS: I know people are incredibly pessimistic about good news on lemmy, but please know that the linked website was created by Hans Rosling (RIP), his family and the foundation they created to carry on his work. Hans Rosling was a swedish physician and an academic who wrote “Factfulness” (that I highly recommend to everyone, even though it was pre-corona pandemic) and who believed in a better world enough to dedicate his life to make it better)

  • SapphironZA@sh.itjust.works
    7·
    8 days ago

    Giant Space Laser that automatically zaps the 100 evilest people in the world each day. Determined by who negatively impacted the quality of life of the most people that day.

    • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
      4·
      8 days ago

      Done, but it can’t penetrate a specific magical shield (sunscreen) and it’s eco friendly so it’s a bit slow. Gets faster with time though as the evil people keep doing evil things and unfortunately doesn’t discriminate who it zaps :( wear your magishields (sunscreen)!

    • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
      6·
      9 days ago

      This is an impossible task unfortunately as we haven’t been able to find a way to reverse aging with magic despite millenia of dedicated research into magic. You must continue living as an adult/young woman, Lena, or talk to a dark alchemist or a warlock.

    • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
      6·
      8 days ago

      I’m sorry today is all about bending, unbendings only on monday and tuesday between 11:11 - 13:23 :(

    • Lazycog@sopuli.xyzOP
      4·
      9 days ago

      You have been granted an evening with your favourite drink, snacks, and favourite form of relaxation/entertainment media at home. You may also cancel any plans on short notice tonight without any repercussions or possible damage to your relationships due to cancellations.

  • Guidy@lemmy.world
    5·
    9 days ago

    Please write BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER permanently into the sky above each continent high enough and large enough to be seen by all. If a continent has a predominant language it can be in that language and if the math and physics work out it could even be by nation or region.