- 0 Posts
- 21 Comments
2·11 days agoGetting over someone is hard. I prefer not to phrase it as: “she’s just another girl” because that diminishes the fact that to you she was special and more than “just another girl”. That’s why you have these feelings of attraction & desire in the first place.
But, her being special doesn’t mean she’s someone you’ll end up with in a long relationship. Your attraction & affection for her is only half a relationship. There will be MANY women (or men, it goes both ways) you meet in life that seem amazing & special, but don’t return those feelings towards you. And I don’t mean this as a downer; it’s just a reality… It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you because you’re not the type of person a specific girl is interested in dating.
It’s not about getting over her; as hard as that is to hear it means there’s not a relationship there. It takes both people for a relationship to form (a healthy one at least, which I hope is what you’re after). It sucks, but it happens. You have to learn to move past that and continue living your life (including meeting other people & potential partners). You’re not getting over “her”; you’re getting over a relationship that you’d like to exist but doesn’t.
I’ll not make light of how hard it can be to move past someone, as I see some others do in their replies. Attraction for someone should take time to get over. It’s hard to experience a strong amount of attraction towards someone and not have that returned. But the reality is there will probably be many people in your life that fit this description. Don’t dwell on the people who aren’t returning your affection; and figure out what you need to do to redirect that energy into finding someone for whom the attraction is mutual. Because that’s when you’ll eventually find someone who really is special; as hard as it might seem now to think of someone being more special than this current girl… odds are it will happen. Then you’ll get to have a whole relationship with them (rather than a one-sided one). And being in a mutual relationship will be far better than what you’re longing for now.
Source: mid-forties and have gone through many break-ups and a divorce. When a relationship isn’t working out, figure out what you need to do to move past it & look for the next one.
Doesn’t matter; we’ll map it to whatever the environment needs in the docker-compose.yaml.
101·11 days agoIf you’re referring to things one can do alone: Hobbies! Pick up anything where the end result is something you’ve created. Every iteration you make improvements and get better and better stuff! Examples: Music or Art (learn an instrument, paint / craft decorations for your residence); Sewing or Knitting; Gardening; Woodworking (some of these can be expensive)…
Things you can do with others: Exercise (join a running or cycling group; rec sports team; etc…); Board Games; Video Games…
And if you do things with others you can also combat boredom by researching & discussing those things: look for new trails to run/ride; keep up to date on reviews for new trends in your hobby; discuss those same trends with your peers; etc…
Reminder that the amount of data collected in the underlying data has decreased (not “officially” due to budget cuts, but … there have been budget cuts and staffing reductions): https://www.bls.gov/cpi/notices/2025/collection-reduction.htm
Perpetual reminder to watch other related measures: PPI (to be released later this week) and CPE (to be released in a couple weeks). I expect all 3 to continue to increase if current political and market conditions don’t change.
A similar question was asked about 2 weeks ago; I was going to link to that but it was since deleted; so here’s a copy & paste of my reply instead. Note payment wasn’t raised in that discussion; my response to that would be: is potentially meeting people interested in dating you worth the fee (to me that answer was yes)? If a service provides value to me I’m happy to pay a reasonable amount.
A lot of negative comments. I went through a divorce last year (male, mid 40s), and used dating apps when I was ready to start meeting people. I was apprehensive going in but ended up shocked by how positive the results were. After a week or two I would have several matches and pause searching while I talked with those and planned in-person meetings. Most profiles you’ll never get a reply. Of those you match again, half likely never respond to initial introductions / questions. But, if you live in a major metro area there’s still plenty of people looking for relationships if you’re willing to filter through that. I’m now happily in a relationship for the past few months so I’ve stopped using these apps.
I tried 3: eHarmony, hinge, and bumble. Here’s my feedback from best to worse.
Hinge: encourages discussion as an initial match prompt. I met the most people on this app and many matches led to in person dates. Met the person I’m currently dating seriously on here.
Bumble: costs money to send a comment / question, free to “just swipe”. Kept showing me profiles for people currently within my search distance, but who have listed another major city as their home (I guess they’re connecting through the airport and on the app?). Went on multiple dates with matches, fewer than hinge.
eHarmony: where I originally met my previous wife ~20 years ago. Now had the fewest matches and worst experience (and highest cost). I stopped checking this one after about a month. Went on only 1 date.
Feedback from my matches about the app: many men are using it to find people to cheat with / aren’t serious about a relationship. All of them told me actually holding a conversation on the app put me in the “top tier” of their matches. Many shared that matches just gave super short answers then asked for a phone number. Several noted that half the time they shared a number they almost immediately received dick pics. Multiple said matches tried to get them into crypto (?!?!).
For me (busy work schedule, and still spend half my time with kids) the experience was far better than any dates friends or co workers suggested. The profiles are not super deep… Yes everyone loves live music, travel, and The Office. I wanted to connect over something more specific than that. At least the people you match with are also looking for a relationship. Meeting people through my hobbies at 40+ most are in long term relationships or not interested in starting one. The apps are largely superficial… Half the first dates I went on one or both of us decided not to have a second date. Which is honestly expected… Even after filtering through the profiles and messaging in app you still only know the basics for most people.
For you specifically: many matches took issue with the recent timing of my divorce. If you’re separated (not divorced) expect that to be a deal breaker for many.
The odds of your iPhone pics standing out are slim unless you’re rocking a speedo packing a hog, ridiculously muscular, or apparently holding a fish?
From my experience; that’s not what women are looking for. At least, not the ones I ended up matching & later talking about the dating app experience; but then I matched without any of those types of photos… so there’s selection bias in my sample. I did encounter a number of women mentioning the ubiquitous “fish pic” and though it was strange. I guess if you like fishing as a hobby that’s fine; but I don’t notice that many single men when I’m fishing. As a response I would send them a selfie holding up my kids’ “fish” bath toys and that always got a laugh :)
A lot of negative comments. I went through a divorce last year (male, mid 40s), and used dating apps when I was ready to start meeting people. I was apprehensive going in but ended up shocked by how positive the results were. After a week or two I would have several matches and pause searching while I talked with those and planned in-person meetings. Most profiles you’ll never get a reply. Of those you match again, half likely never respond to initial introductions / questions. But, if you live in a major metro area there’s still plenty of people looking for relationships if you’re willing to filter through that. I’m now happily in a relationship for the past few months so I’ve stopped using these apps.
I tried 3: eHarmony, hinge, and bumble. Here’s my feedback from best to worse.
Hinge: encourages discussion as an initial match prompt. I met the most people on this app and many matches led to in person dates. Met the person I’m currently dating seriously on here.
Bumble: costs money to send a comment / question, free to “just swipe”. Kept showing me profiles for people currently within my search distance, but who have listed another major city as their home (I guess they’re connecting through the airport and on the app?). Went on multiple dates with matches, fewer than hinge.
eHarmony: where I originally met my previous wife ~20 years ago. Now had the fewest matches and worst experience (and highest cost). I stopped checking this one after about a month. Went on only 1 date.
Feedback from my matches about the app: many men are using it to find people to cheat with / aren’t serious about a relationship. All of them told me actually holding a conversation on the app put me in the “top tier” of their matches. Many shared that matches just gave super short answers then asked for a phone number. Several noted that half the time they shared a number they almost immediately received dick pics. Multiple said matches tried to get them into crypto (?!?!).
For me (busy work schedule, and still spend half my time with kids) the experience was far better than any dates friends or co workers suggested. The profiles are not super deep… Yes everyone loves live music, travel, and The Office. I wanted to connect over something more specific than that. At least the people you match with are also looking for a relationship. Meeting people through my hobbies at 40+ most are in long term relationships or not interested in starting one. The apps are largely superficial… Half the first dates I went on one or both of us decided not to have a second date. Which is honestly expected… Even after filtering through the profiles and messaging in app you still only know the basics for most people.
For you specifically: many matches took issue with the recent timing of my divorce. If you’re separated (not divorced) expect that to be a deal breaker for many.
11·1 month agoIs there any domestically produced competition in Canada? The only one a search returns is still a concept (not yet commercially available). Everything else looks to be imported from elsewhere?
Exactly what I thought when I first mis-read it as “gene-editing” instead of “gene-edited” and thought Spiderman!
No one remembers the lessons learned from prohibition?
Also just … Unemployment is still near historic lows. Where do they expect all these workers to come from? (While also deporting other employed individuals)
6·3 months agoEven if they do; if your employer “provides” the insurance they’ll take a cut of any cost savings :(
No need for a meme. Just say happy mother’s day. A personal anecdote will mean more… Give one example of why you think they’re a great mother.
I have a few close friends who are mothers I sent a note today. If you’re close enough you’d wish them a happy birthday it’d be kind to do the same on any other holiday that applies. And ultimately this is all about being nice to people you care about. If it would make their day a little bit better: do it!
The same applies for days that aren’t holidays too … This is part of how you make and maintain friendships. Send a nice message every once in a while just to let them know they matter to you and you think highly about them. People love to hear others appreciate them. They’re more likely to do the same back if you do, and I always find it uplifting to get a random compliment from a friend.
was on the verge of paying off the debt
That’s inaccurate; the annual budget deficit became a surplus. But it was never near the scale to make much of a dent in the total debt. I think you used the wrong term? Your sentiment is correct if so.
There’s already an annual child tax credit: https://taxpolicycenter.org/briefing-book/what-child-tax-credit
I’m sure they didn’t even check if birth rates are influenced by this…
Music videos! Binging some of the live sessions posted by artists is a healthier time sink than most everything else on YouTube.
Celery salt is made from celery seed and salt. It’s not as salty as table salt: https://www.allrecipes.com/article/what-is-celery-salt/
If you’re looking for convincing arguments; read through the responses from this panel of experts: https://www.kentclarkcenter.org/surveys/tariffs/ (from 2024) and more recently: https://www.kentclarkcenter.org/surveys/tariffs-reciprocal-and-retaliatory-2/
Many of the responding professors provide detail on why they vote a certain way. For example to the 3rd part of the question from 2024: “The gains for the American economy from tripling the tariffs would measurably outweigh the losses.” you get replies like:
Protectionism via tariffs creates well-understood aggregate losses in efficiency. This is so even if China “unfairly” subsidizes its steel. Political motivations aside, actual distributional impacts are modest, ill targeted, and better handled with other more direct tax tools.
With links to further background information: https://economics.mit.edu/sites/default/files/publications/CW 04-15-22.pdf & http://www.econ.ucla.edu/pfajgelbaum/tradewar_1203.pdf with more detail to read.
Not sure if this will convince you or not; but it’s at least a cache of relevant information.
It helps to understand the neurochemistry of what your brain does when you’re in love: https://www.apa.org/topics/marriage-relationships/brain-on-love (there’s less technical summaries available and I think a TED talk video about it).
The short of it is that this person is triggering hormone and neurochemicals in your brain, but it is temporary. Find ways to occupy or redirect your attention and this reaction will reduce and fade eventually… So advice to “just give it time” is actually sound.
Our bodies (and brains) are weird :/