Nonfiction is his best work.

Tom Selleck, do your mustache magic

We could always invite Canada back to redecorate.

Even more incentive for both sides to reject it? We got a winner!

Responsible Lemmy users aside, the general public may surprise you — the stories I get from my outpatient healthcare-worker spouse are abysmal enough

Compliance ain’t gonna happen. Try getting a dude to take something regularly that isn’t a painkiller. Let’s mix it with advil.

Good. That’s what your sycophantic behavior gets you.

The hotdog + soda combo price was the hill their co-founder Jim Sinegal would literally die on.

To wit: “If you raise [the price of the] effing hot dog, I will kill you.”

Joke’s on you, the positions are resume farms and your field isn’t hiring.

I just scatter mine under the fingernails of multiple unhoused individuals throughout the city. It’s a bit of a pain, but it’s peace of mind. I’m thinking of expanding into microfiche hidden in fortune cookies next.

That’s why I sit on the dryer and think about Stamos.

“Babies have developing brains. And gorillas have babies. But what if we gave a developing baby gorilla brain DMT? Jamie, pull that up.”

Agent Richard Fondler strikes again

HaXX0rz

Trump doing a weekly Patreon video to thank the top donors whose usernames are just a bunch of puns on slurs

Totally slapped but oh the motion sickness

You got your California king, your Wyoming king, the Texas king, and the Alaska king. That’s the best.

Won’t someone think of the day drunks

Use ARABIC numerals? Not in MY math, hoss!