“I can get you to Alderaan, but it ain’t going to be easy.”

And you know what her dad’s name was?

Dennis Crosby.

What? That is a RIDICULOUS statement!

A blob semen can actually be useful!

I explained economics to my nine-year-old once. He’s a golden retriever mix, and the explanation was in the form of a song called “Who’s a fluffy boy? Yoooou are a fluffy boy!”

Come back South Park, all is forgiven (I guess?).

I love it! But you’ll have to sneak that one past the boss…

Honey you want to be rich not famous.

💀

The perfect Australian name doesn’t exi–

Joke’s on her, nothing gives me joy 😑 .

Live view of my brain:

Well…

Boss ‘smashes windows to drum up business’

The owner of a glass company has been arrested after police found he had smashed windows of business employed by him to replace them.

Andrew Krogh, 47, who owns a glass and mirror company in California, was arrested with a slingshot and ball bearings in his possession.

Krogh is accused of driving a white van that appeared to be identical to the one caught several times on surveillance video on nights that windows were shattered at a martial arts studio.

The building’s landlord said he had spent at least $12,000 in six months to repair 13 broken windows and that he had hired Krogh to do the work on at least one occasion.

Okay you say that now, but what happens when you get folded over and thrown in a bag and–

You know what, I’m just going to stop right there.

Do great things, if thou wil’t.

Nobody likes the medium infant.

YouTube now banned in Texas 🤷‍♀️

Hakuna Majula.

“It’s like I’m on some wonderful drug… called ecstasy!”