You might find some of those influences in PJ Morton’s music. Sample: https://youtu.be/2F9pL06IC8k
C2C has a really cool electro-gospel song that doesn’t have overly religious lyrics, though it captures the vibes excellently: https://youtube.com/watch?v=tvY7Nw1i6Kw
Other gospel/southern vibes: https://youtu.be/xNWhiXxdbWk
Agreed, and friends are great. To expand even further: The fact that romance/friendship exists as a dichotomy rather than a spectrum or a pick-and-choose DIY relationship grab bag is testament to the way many people expect their partner to be their person, their one and only, when in reality we should be in the supportive community of friends and want the same for our partners. I want my partner to have friends because I can’t put up with their shit 24/7 … and vice versa!
There’s also a stereotype about the friend zone, but even as a straight dude I’ve dated a few friends. The key is to date people you like as your friends, not to pick your “friends” so you can get close enough to date them. It’s friendship+, not friendshipOR.
I don’t know if I could have a romantic relationship without some sort of sexual feelings involved or at least a potential for them.
Let me just say that this is my answer and there is no right answer. It’s more important to clearly communicate your desires and ask other people about theirs.
These semi-arbitrary lines exist to help you learn to paint, but ultimately, you and your partner(s) are the artists of your relationships and if you’re painting with the right person(s) you can paint however you want, though you should act ethically and respect other’s self-determination.
I run a beelink mini, not the weakest one, not the most powerful one, and it handles docker containers and VMs fine. I don’t have a tkn of integrated storage, but rather this machine handles apps while a separate NAS does all the file storage. Most I ever had running was 2 VMs and a handful of negligible docker containers but I still had plenty of ram and CPU to spare. I also think the minisforum stuff looks good. Their n5 pro nas just came out and would have made a good server with room to grow. I decided against it because I have parts and I want to use them :-) so the beelink is holding down the fort while I Frankenstein together a rig from my old gaming PC in a huge case that will host all my apps and less critical media. Home assistant which will stay on the beelink because it needs high availability. I’ve been curious how the lowest priced minisforum models would fare.
I don’t like it and don’t even care to understand why. Thank you for sharing this unholy curiosity.
Wow, that is quite the story. I have struggled with this question and how I would feel on either side of the equation. As a person who grew up in the conservative 90s who became a more balanced and freethinking person, I still have what might be an irrationally strong fear of STDs. This fear combined with religious conditioning around relationships kind of fucked up high school and early college for me. I was supposed to be boning the entire cheer leading team and I was learning about how angry Jesus was at my impure fantasies. My late 20s and 30s have been a lot better, but I still have a really hard time gaging risks and deciding how I feel about them so I tend to err on the side of being overly careful and miss a lot potentially great experiences with people. I think getting tested with a new partner is always wise.
One of the other commenters said “a lifetime of pills and difficult conversations”. That’s one of the scary places my mind might go to, but you could still reframe it as “I’m going to have get better at communicating needs and boundaries in my relationships, especially early on”. That sounds less scary and more fulfilling. I still would like to avoid getting infected.
On a positive note, the fact that she was upfront and honest about it is a good sign. I’d tread carefully but if I really meshed well with the person abd saw a medium/long term future for us, I would probably try to figure something out to make myself more comfortable in the short term, like asking her to confirm she took her meds and using protection. If she cares about you and you make it about your feelings and not blaming her.
Lastly, none of us are perfect and you might have a few oddities she doesn’t find particularly pleasant. Rejecting her for something that she can’t change could make her feel like she’s “not good enough” or “damaged” and even if you guys don’t shaboink I wouldn’t want a friend or crush to feel that way. That’s the shit her ex did. I think it would be better to tell her how you feel about her (positive) and express that your apprehensive about the herpes thing.
Sorry for the wall of text. Thought about it a lot thanks to church school.
I miss the days when you would get a cached page highlighting the exact places where the search engine found your keywords. The pool of websites felt bottomless and the only thing holding you back was the challenge of picking the exact perfect combination of search terms and operators to narrow it down.
Search engines have no nuance anymore. It feels like they just dumb down your search to the most relevant thing you can buy now and fill out the rest with vaguely related filler sites. That or they dump you on quora where they will harass you to log in to read anything and spam you mercilessly if you do.
I won’t help every time, but if someone asks and I’m feeling generous, I usually stop and talk for a few mins and hand them $10-20, no strings attached. I’m not the ethics police and if they buy insulin or liquor doesn’t matter to me as much as them getting the impression that they aren’t invisible and people want to see them prosper. It’s too easy to see myself in their situation for me to be an asshole about it. Most of us are only an accident or bad decision away from homelessness and poverty.
I know it’s not a perfect resemblance, but I see it.
Strawberry is great and so was Clementine before it. It’s really a step up compared to what the average distro bakes into their default bundle of applications.
I test rode a Hase Pino a few times. It’s a sit/lie tandem where the person in the back rides and steers more or less like a normal bike and the front rider is semi-reclined over the front wheel peddling with their feet out in front of them. My wife lost a $100 bet when I convinced a disabled friend to ride with me who was afraid of bikes and they had a blast. Should have made it a $15k bet so I could actually afford to keep the thing. I occasionally daydream about riding the Pino up and down the street downtown offering rides and flirting with the ladies.
Image results for context: https://duckduckgo.com/?t=h_&q=hase+pino&ia=images&iax=images
Inb4 someone added Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Saw to the training data.
Fair enough. I was in that camp for a decade or more myself. I hope you find a solution!
It’s not necessarily a solution, but my Garmin watch can still hold some of my cards, so I don’t need the NFC payment on my phone to duplicate that functionality. Do you wear or carry any other devices that can stand-in?
This is so whack. I don’t get it, but it strikes me as true for many people 5-10 years younger than me. I’m the opposite. I want to use my desktop for everything and I’d sooner use a dumbphone/laptop combo than a smartphone with no computer. One thing I will never do on a phone is game. Sure, snake in the doctors office is one thing, but mobile gaming is so trash and scammy and bullshit that I just can’t have any fun.
Interesting username. Are you a fellow student of Internet Comment Etiquette?
I know at least some of my containers use Postgres. Glad to know I inadvertently might have made it easier on myself. I’ll have to look into the users for the db and db containers. I’m a bit lost on that. I know my db has a username and pass I set in the docker compose file and that the process is running with a particular GID UID or whatever. Is that what your talking about?
I miss this from cloud hosting. It’s helpful to be able to save, clone, or do whatever with the current machine state and easily just flash back to where you were if you mess something up. Might be too much to set up for my current homelab though. My server does have btrfs snapshots of everything directly in grub which has let me roll back a few big screwups here and there.
I’ve replaced the battery on my laptop twice. Didn’t recognize the brand (might have been Dentsing or something like that) but it outperformed the stock battery in it’s flattening state and maybe even when it was new! I watched it pretty closely for a while though and I’d NEVER buy a battery off temu.
Yeah, I don’t care if they invent a paywall that jumps out of the screen and gives me a top notch scalp massage. I don’t do paywalls.
I’m a tall, straight man and squarely middle class so your mileage may vary.
Lean into the discomfort. Discuss it openly with people. My best relationships were with woman who I was already able to talk about sex stuff with without turning bright red. This sounds like it is a hard place to get to, but that’s the religious conditioning. Many people are open to talking about sex if they’re comfortable and it’s an appropriate environment. Not everyone feels the shame and worry because not everyone went through this.
Consider talking to a therapist or counselor if it’s impacting your ability to function in the world how you want to. Churches are just “good” cults and some use very sketchy, manipulative tactics. It’s not your fault you got sucked into it, and it’s not too late to unlearn those things. Don’t throw out any good things you got from church, I’m great in front of a crowd thanks to my time with religion.
Lastly, whips and chains may be scary, but some alternative lifestyle communities have classes or discussion groups that can show you the depth and variety of sexual expression without committing to actually participating and in a structured environment which can be a HUGE stress reliever for people.