cooking meals 😁

thank you!! 🫶

thank you 🩷

love how the reaction is to condemn the victim ☹️

Azealia Banks was born in 1991 …

Throughout her career, Banks’s social media presence and outspoken views, especially on U.S. politics and race, as well as disputes with other artists, have attracted significant controversy. Banks has been accused of homophobia, transphobia, and xenophobia towards multiple nationalities. Complex noted in 2014 that “she gets more attention for her public feuds than she does for her music”.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Azealia_Banks

it sounds like the controversy and negative attention is the point, and this post just further rewards the behavior

outrage is its own reward for some

fleeing leaving the South (in the US), worried I’ll have to flee the US too

agreed, the app is not defensible, but a lot of men are enjoying and justifying the doxxing of the women users of the app as justice served, and I think that’s abhorrent

one in three is only sexual and physical violence from an intimate partner, your one in nine stat includes sexual harassment, the stat is even higher for women if you include sexual harassment:

https://interactive.unwomen.org/multimedia/infographic/violenceagainstwomen/en/index.html

it’s not clear to me the sexual violence one in nine men experience are primarily caused by women, either - LGBT+ men such as trans men are at much higher risk of domestic and sexual violence …

are men concerned for their safety dating women? Has one in three men experienced sexual or physical violence at the hands of their female partners?

Every summer, the neighborhood throws its own smaller-scale LGBTQ+ Pride event separate from the city’s main annual parade taking place this weekend.

It’s just one of more than 200 Pride events taking place in Germany this year.

17 anti-LGBT protests against over 200 Pride events, in case anyone is looking for a “silver lining” to this story. 😊

Tea is marketed as a “dating safety tool” for women, and it pledges to donate ten percent of its revenue to the National Domestic Violence Hotline. …

…

The app enables the photos to be run through a reverse image search, enabling them to run a basic background check, check against public sex offender databases, and check for photos that might get flagged as being used in “catfishing” — misrepresenting one’s identity online.

The app also features a “Tea Party Group Chat,” which allows users to directly share information about men, and has a rating function, which allows users to share their experiences with Yelp-style reviews, awarding men a “green flag” or a “red flag.”

https://www.cnn.com/2025/07/25/us/tea-app-dating-privacy-cec

sorry, are men concerned for their safety dating women such that a gender inverted version of this app makes sense? Your ignorance is what I’m talking about here …

+1 for Mullvad!

yeah, the app has obvious flaws, and the Rate My Professor style approach succeeds or fails depending on the quality of the users and moderators, and could easily be useless or become toxic - either way, I’m not defending this aspect of the app, it’s clearly problematic.

Regardless I understand why women would want a resource like this, and that doesn’t seem true for those in the comments who see the doxxing as deserved for using this app.

Nevermind the rest of the context, like 4chan being a bastion of right-wing, misogynist trolls who would target an app like this for political reasons.

Lemmy users approving 4chan doxxing women is a major red flag … it might have something to do with how many Lemmy users come here due to being banned for their behavior on Reddit. Reddit isn’t sending their best and brightest, and it shows. (This is just my speculation, though.)

of course, the app has obvious problems, but I don’t see that as justifying the gloating and sense of revenge enjoyment happening.

Instead I see a kind of discontent about women I find concerning, which seems ignorant of the widespread violence women experience or what it’s like for women who take risks when dating men.

Men are not all equally problematic or privileged, but they are generally in a position of power relative to women and are acting like the victims here.

They should direct their discontent to patriarchy which creates the situation where violence against women is dismissed or accepted, and which motivates women to use apps to check if the person they are dating has a history of violent behavior.

Patriarchy which perpetuates the narrative that men are natural predators and women natural prey is what victimizes men here, not the women who rightfully fear and feel victimized by the minority of men who are violent.

The app enables the photos to be run through a reverse image search, enabling them to run a basic background check, check against public sex offender databases, and check for photos that might get flagged as being used in “catfishing” — misrepresenting one’s identity online.

The app also features a “Tea Party Group Chat,” which allows users to directly share information about men, and has a rating function, which allows users to share their experiences with Yelp-style reviews, awarding men a “green flag” or a “red flag.”

https://www.cnn.com/2025/07/25/us/tea-app-dating-privacy-cec

It’s a bit like Rate My Professor, but for dating.

Honestly I cyncially expect this kind of app might inevitably exist for rating people of all genders (or that dating apps might incorporate this Uber-style rating system), but the reason this app exists has directly to do with the violence women face from intimate partners.

The point is that men who are enjoying the doxxing of women who have used this app are ignoring the context, or even have a warped sense of the context, as if this is narrowly about (legitimate) privacy concerns and the harms caused by the app.

Even if the concerns about the app are justified, the revenge enjoyment betrays a view much harder to defend, that all the women who used the app are equally cupable, or that doxxing women using the app is equivalent to women doxxing abusive men through the app.

Men are not all equally privileged, but there is a broad inequality both to how violence is distributed and how that plays out in dating situations. Women are not wrong to fear men. One in three women have experienced sexual or physical violence, most of that violence being perpetuated by men.

Since this is the context for the use of this app, it’s not neutral to doxx its users or to claim it’s fair because men feel (legitimate) concerns about the app’s privacy violations.

There is some of that happening, like when women get together and discuss how they’re being treated it’s “gossip” and implied as immoral.

I think some men might read what you’ve said and think you are denying any toxic gossip exists, it’s important to have nuance and not alienate men who otherwise would be allies, but I think overall your point is well taken.

??

!womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone