"The Thing! Is his dork made out of orange rock like the rest of his body?

Mallrats

Oh you mean like every daschund ever?

I hear whispers of cannibalism from these types occasionally.

Fr fr no cap

Stop

Or every bad driver in California. I see those stickers on cars being driven by 50 year olds.

“My sweet summer child” is also infuriating

I have nipples

Lying is one of those things where you generally get worse at it as time goes on, due to having to lie to cover up previous lies and so on.

SAD!

Entrapment!

Or maybe I’m thinking of child endangerment?

Worse than that, millions of people actively chose this. AGAIN.

What was your mother’s maiden name again?

Which is dumb as hell because it’s hot as fuck here. I live here and regularly have my AC running nearly non-stop in the summer, as well as everyone else. I’m white so I guess I’m safe?? That’s so fucked up.

It’s a mountain of something alright

Oh not again

Prolly kick your ass

Some classic pasta right there.

Brought to you by Carl’s Jr

Bless you

WHERE’S THE FOOT??!

Damnit it’s true. My female cat’s name is Aurora (Bora Alice) and my last male was simply named Siatie (c a t)