I want to buy Bionicles.

I cannot buy Bionicles.

Thank fuck! Good one Canada!

Hmm… Here I am trying to think when the last time was when I gave EA money for anything…

I guess the Mass Effect Remastered collection. I got that through Humble Monthly, but I’m pretty sure Humble gave EA money for that. So I gave money to EA through Humble… That was quite a long time ago, though.

Oh right, yeah. Good idea.

Aw, man. How am I going share these nuclear launch codes now?

It would be part of the Metroidvania section, because it’s probably one of the best modern takes on it, and it has and currently is spawning quite a number of copy-cats. So that would cover its cultural impact too.

Just wait till this guy hears about moss…

I mean, let’s not give China a free pass here.

Or science. Or technology. Knowing things is so fucking depressing because you’ll have your family members saying/believing the most damning things and there’s literally nothing you can do to teach them.

It’s a dumbass stereotype misandrists use to demonise men.

Maybe that has something to do with it for some people, but generally no.

Most guys can’t afford to go places. Or they work so much just to get by that when they’re finally done at the end of the day there’s just no energy left.

It’s a society issue, not a personal issue.

Because 4chan is like using the Internet by writing on papyrus.

Oh for sure; one was a scientologist who was deliberately practicing charisma. Now he travels around the world selling the success of scientology with a perfect fake smile.

The other spent waaaayyyyyyyy too much time looking at himself in the mirror. Figuratively, but also somewhat literally.

Speaking of STDs, the latter guy refused to do sex with a condom. I told him he was an idiot for that; things could go wrong. You could accidently become a dad of a child you don’t want, or end up getting a permanent STD. He said I worry too much.

Less than a week after that conversation he got gonorrhea for a whole month. I was smiling like the Cheshire cat the whole time.

I hung out at videogame sections at consumer electronics stores when I was a kid because they usually had a few game consoles with games on them to play. It was also free.

Was.

As in past-tense.

Hmm… Good question… They’ll have to be the kind of videogame that was the first to do something, or set the standard for something, or has had a huge, long lasting cultural impact that can still be felt today.

So in that hypothetical museum I’d nominate:

• Pong.
• Tetris.
• Donkey Kong arcade game.
• Super Mario.
• Super Mario 64.
• Crash Bandicoot
• Metroid (the first one).
• Castlevania (the original one).
• Hollow Knight.
• Mario Kart.
• The Legend of Zelda (the first one).
• TES III Morrowind.
• TES V Skyrim.
• Doom (the original one).
• Half Life.
• Counter Strike (the original one).
• Ultima.
• Ultima Online.
• Dune (the RTS game).
• Warcraft.
• World of Warcraft.
• Age of Empires II, perhaps alongside the Definitive Edition.
• Sid Meier’s Civilisation (the first one).
• Final Fantasy (the first one).
• Chrono Trigger.
• Minecraft (as much as I hate it).
• Elite (the first one).
• Wing Commander Privateer Gold.
• 3D Space Cadet Pinball.

Oh. Oh this is a good thing. This actually a great thing!

Like, you’re going to have a lot of white supremacists pooled together in an easy to find spot.

I’ll let you fill in the rest with your imagination. :)

No, because it would be exorbitantly expensive.

Pretty presumptuous of you to think most people can just afford a house like that.

Be born good looking and then go to places where shallow floozies with no personality hang out.

I’ve had two roommates in the past (not at the same time) who both had a girl-of-the-week thing. They only used them for sex, and the women they slept with weren’t very… They weren’t the sharpest.

Never once did they take anyone home who was intelligent or respectable. Probably because women like that have too much self-respect and good standards.

They too told me it was easy to get laid. I was like… No thank you. I’m not missing out on anything meaningful.

It costs money. I dunno if you’ve noticed, but things are getting more expensive, and salaries aren’t really increasing at the same pace. People have less spare money to spend.

So where will you go to meet new people and socialise with?

The bar where a single drink costs 3 evenings worth of dinner?

The cafe where a tea and a sandwich costs more than a supermarket shopping trip?

The social event with an entry fee that makes you wonder if you can skip rent for a month?