SineNomen

Probably mostly depends on your local community. I early on made the decision to only friend people I’ve met in real life.

Women probably still have it bad until they blocked half the site.

Fetlife is still very active over here. Of course the real life events are the most important.

Get a kinky hobby and then join your local community. For me it was bondage. Go to meetings, get to know people (emphasis on people). When you pass the vibe check you should get invited to parties. During all this you should be able to get to know enough people who are DTF.

I wish I could upvote you twice.

I have had more relationships after my marriage than before.

We kind of slipped into it. We always maintained an open relationship in terms of communication. With the arrival of our children we found it harder to pursue our kinkier side with each other so we decided to try it with other people.

My wife was first. She signed up with BDSM communities, went on dates and went to munches. Eventually I decided I wanted to try that as well. As my first test I signed up to the same site and messaged her without revealing myself. I convinced her to try a date with me with only one simple message. Rizzing the person you love feels good.

Anyways, going on dates with the knowledge and consent of your partner makes it so much easier than having to conceal them and making up lies. No idea how people do this.

Relationships we formed were similar to other relationships. Some worked, some didn’t. Most ended amicably, some didn’t. Of course we sought out people who seemed to be ok with the arrangement.

The pandemic mostly put an end to that and by now life doesn’t leave us enough time or energy to go on. But we do not regret that time. Still keep lose contact with the people we met. Our own relationship is stronger than ever. And we’ll see what the future holds.

Also, if you’re really lucky you might discover that your fantasy isn’t actually that exciting in real life.

Or maybe it’s really a normal healthy kink that you could be exploring further.

I’d advise you to go to Fetlife, look for munches near you, go there and get the vibe of the people. Go several times because vibes can change from week to week.

You should be able to learn there that the people there aren’t freaks but normal people. That what you’re feeling is normal and that you’re not the only one. And most importantly that you’re not an ugly loser but also a normal person.

Don’t go there with the expectation of finding a sexual partner. These are supposed to be safe spaces where one can go to exchange feelings and knowledge. Also don’t go there with the expectation that everyone will be talking about sex and BDSM and fetishes all the time. Often enough they talk about all kinds of things.

If you’re lucky your munch has some kind of way of onboarding new people. The organisers are the right people to talk to. They are usually very nice and not judgemental.

Meeting each other.

And then meating each other.

If I could change anything about you it would be your location to on my face.

Not about sex with trans women, but generally about fantasy vs reality. Sometimes things seem great in fantasy but are boring or mundane in reality. And vice versa.

For me (other people’s experiences may differ) some examples are:

Cell-Popping. You heat a needle white hot and hold it over your or your partner’s skin to make the skin cells quickly heat up and burst to create a small superficial wound. Do that in a line or so and you can draw little pictures. It usually doesn’t leave scars so it only lasts for a few days.

I thought it would be super hot. To mark my partner and be marked by them. To endure the pain.

In the end it wasn’t super painful. And sure, the pictures looked nice. But it wasn’t really anything special over just using a pen to doodle something.

On the other hand there was mummification. Encasing someone in seran wrap for example. I thought it would be boring because you could just lie there and do nothing.

Super wrong. It’s intense. When you also wrap ears and eyes you are completely gone from the world. You lose all track of time. It’s almost like being weightless because the wrap also cuts off all feelings from the skin. If you then get just the slightest sensation from your partner, like a touch or a kiss, it is magnified a thousand fold.

Once mummified a girl at a private party. And while she lay there our pizza order arrived and everyone was aflutter with sorting out payment and who got what and she didn’t notice a thing. We brought her back gently and slowly and when she was somewhat coherent presented the pizza to her. In her words: “Best. Aftercare. Ever.”

Your coworkers risk some stern meetings with HR.

Gott weiß vielleicht will ich doch ein Engel sein.

No baguette?

Someone messaged me out of the blue with slightly sexy intent. We had some nice non-botty conversations and I directed them towards Fetlife, which seemed to open up a whole new world to them.

By the way, the BDSM porn from kink.com is usually prefaced with an interview where the actors discuss bounderies, limits, safewords, turn ons, etc. And at the end they debrief on the scene. Other sites seem to copy that format as well. It’s very nice. And with their behind-the-scenes site behindkink.com you can get even more insights, like a supercut of this big angry fearsome dom guy checking in with the sub after every cut to see if she’s really doing ok.

It’s only sad that you seldome get to see those interviews on the free sites that are basically just ads for the paid sites.

It’s really not offputting but rather a great insight into the actors and their chemistry and sets the mood. @guy@pixelfed.social

@pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone

Not exactly a pickup line. But at a bondage event I asked this woman if she would like to tie me up. She answered that she was actually looking for someone with tits. I pointed at my ugly manboobs and said that I’ve got some. And that sealed the deal.

Another event, same woman, same start, I asked her to tie me up. Again she declined, stating the she was waiting to tie up [same first name as me]. Again I just had to point out that I am [first name] and we got on. She literally took my breath away. It was awesome. Ended up double teaming me with another domme.

By now I get turned off when they fake moan so much.

I have the big titties as well. Actually helped me hook up with a girl once. She had said that she was actually looking for someone with big titties that day. I pointed out mine and thus sealed the deal.

Biggest rizz moment of my life.