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Cake day: July 1st, 2023

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  • Phil_in_here@lemmy.catoComic Strips@lemmy.worldVoting
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    8 days ago

    Theres a fire in my kitchen, but the fire extinguisher is only going to stop like 25% of the damage, so I’m committed to not stopping the fire.

    To be clear, I also don’t support the fire. But the fire extinguisher is:

    • filled with chemicals
    • makes a huge mess
    • costs money to recharge
    • may cause other damage from overspray

    So the best thing for me and my kitchen is to do nothing until they make a “fix my kitchen” spray.








  • What is this, a Seinfeld episode?

    Jerry: “How’d the date go last night?”

    Elaine: “Ugh, total bust! We spent the whole time arguing about calamari!”

    Jerry: “Arguing about calamari? Like fried squid?”

    Elaine gestures there you go

    George: “It’s deep fried, what’s not to like?”

    Elaine: “He doesn’t even know what it is!”

    Jerry: “Never had calamari? What a sad life…”

    Kramer enters. Applause.

    Elaine: “Kramer. What’s calamari?”

    Kramer: “Disgusting. That’s what it is.”

    Jerry: “We’re not talking about the same calamari here.”

    Kramer: “It’s like chewing on rubber bands!”

    Jerry: “You’re not still going to Bosco’s are you?”

    Kramer: “I like Bosco.”

    George: “Didn’t the health board shut them down?”

    Kramer: “That’s how you know it’s authentic.”

    Elaine: “Can we get back to my problem, please?”

    Jerry: “I’ll tell you what, let’s all go out. Elaine, you can bring you can bring your boyfriend. I’ll show you all what calamari is supposed to taste like.”

    Elaine: “Well, do the have caviar?”

    Jerry: “Caviar? What am I made of money? Why caviar?”

    Elaine: “That’s what he thinks calamari is!”

    George: “Did you correct him?”

    Elaine: “Yes, George, I corrected him. I corrected him for 45 minutes!”

    Kramer: “Well why didn’t you just order the calamari and show him?”

    Elaine: “We were at a coffee shop.”

    Kramer: “Oh, they don’t serve calamari at coffee shops.”

    Elaine: “…I know. I didn’t expect to have to defend the reality of what calamari is when we made the date.”





  • Phil_in_here@lemmy.catoMicroblog Memes@lemmy.worldTop tip
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    19 days ago

    people later in the day get fucked by 30-40m

    That’s not at all how time works.

    If a doctor has 1 hour appointments, scheduled on the hour, and everyone is 5 minutes late, the schedule is now every hour on the :05.

    Your 9:00 arrives at 9:05 and runs to 10:05, but that’s fine because your 10:00 is 5 minutes late, so they’re now on time. It’s not cumulative at all.