Just some Internet guy

He/him/them 🏳️‍🌈

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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 25th, 2023

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  • Unfortunately yes. And even then, just having friends is still a privacy liability. Early on the Facebook app for Android would straight up just upload your contacts without asking, so they knew about me well before I caved in and made an account. Or, I’d give my number to someone and suddenly Facebook knows and asks me to friend them.

    Not that it’s a new threat: even pre-industrialization, you’d tell a friend a secret and before you knew it the whole village knew.

    People are mostly incapable of caring for anyone’s privacy but themselves.








  • What’s crazy about it is literally nobody’s pressured to become trans, like, at all. Nobody wishes anyone to be trans because gender disphoria sucks.

    It’s literally just “feel free to express your gender however the fuck you want, you do you, and we’ll still respect you as-is”.

    Despite that, I never once thought about transitioning or being trans or fantasizing about growing a pair of boobs. As a cis man, looking like a women would just make me feel disphoric and want to be a man again ASAP. I never once felt pressured to transition either, and I hang out with a lot of very fruity people.

    This idea that it’s contagious and gives bad thoughts to people is just plain wrong, nobody becomes trans that weren’t trans already.





  • Porn addiction is a real thing that happens: there’s definitely guys out there that can’t get off without it or even get it up with their girlfriend without it. Then yeah it’s a problem.

    But if you just casually watch porn, and it being unavailable for an indeterminate amount of time doesn’t make you worry or uncomfortable, then it’s fine and probably healthy. It is indeed often used in religious context the same way as DARE is presented with drugs: you’ll have that one joint and be addicted to fentanyl until you find Jesus which is plain wrong.


  • Max-P@lemmy.max-p.metoTechnology@lemmy.worldLemmy has a problem
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    7 days ago

    If you think about it, it kinda makes sense. The fediverse is not a safe place for women especially not the average normie women, due to the fediverse’s very public nature of things and general inability to really delete anything.

    Reddit can detect and deal with stalkers, you can make your profile more private. Lemmy can’t do a whole lot when every instance is firehosing all the data in realtime to everyone’s servers. It’s a scary amount of data I have in my local Postgres database: everyone’s every vote, comments, tied to a profile, with accurate timestamps and all.

    If they use an instance without the image proxying, I can also potentially trick them into loading an image from my server and collect IP addresses and correlate to a user via vote timing, and then use GeoIP to get a location.

    Lemmy’s also very appealing to those that can’t stop getting themselves banned from elsewhere as some instances are very friendly to unlimited free speech and gross behaviour. I don’t have data to back this claim, but I feel like there’s definitely a correlation with those kinds of people and women not feeling safe around them.



  • Max-P@lemmy.max-p.metoTechnology@lemmy.worldHughes.net?
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    9 days ago

    Hughes will work okay as a backup internet if that’s what you’re after. Typically when people talk about Hughes they’re really desperate and satellite is the only option at all.

    I would very much rather not feed the nazi either, but that was my only Internet option I’d probably have to consider it. Although I also probably wouldn’t consider moving somewhere without decent connectivity, given I’m a sysadmin and really need the bandwidth.


  • Max-P@lemmy.max-p.metoTechnology@lemmy.worldHughes.net?
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    9 days ago

    It’s one of those use cases where I would very reluctantly take the L and order Starlink.

    Classic satellite Internet is borderline unusable. Forget about any sort of call or video chat, you’ll be seconds behind on watching streams. If you want to stream yourself, it won’t be great and the stream delay will be horrible.

    You can do bulk download, like downloading large games, that’s about the only thing that works well.

    Also last I heard, the data caps and bandwidth were also really crap.



  • Aside from the other answers, no you can’t offload computations to memory. Memory stores data, it doesn’t compute.

    The only way having more memory can possibly improve performance, is by having a cached copy of files so they don’t have to be fetched from disk, and applications potentially caching the results of heavy but reusable computations. (Unless you run out of memory and starts spilling over to disk, then more memory will make it fast again by avoiding swapping).

    I mean I guess technically yes you could transcode into H264 into a tmpfs mount, and then play the H264, but you’re still not doing it faster and certainly not fast enough to watch in real time, you’re just decoding the AV1 well in advance before actually watching it.


  • It’s crazy how often “I’m only good at worthless/bad things” somehow turns into a career, even really niche careers.

    Early gamers were told they’d rot their brain and never accomplish anything and then justin.tv spins off Twitch, blows up and people make thousands. Some ended up driving remote vehicules for a living because of the crazy precision they developed operating controllers and sticks.

    So many YouTubers started off doing dumb shit in their garage and becoming self taught scientists/software developers/repairmans/historians.

    Heck, 4chan managed to accidentally solve a math theorem.

    You just don’t know until after the fact, once you see the impact over time. And sometimes, it just takes time for you to get to the point where you do the thing that changes everything.


  • Im on pills given by a doctor

    It’s important to understand how those pills work. They’re not magic happy pills, they’re emotional numbing pills.

    The purpose of that is numb all the bad emotions dragging you down, so that you don’t feel so awful and can manage to do the things necessary to feel better. If you want to be happy, you use the pills to numb the bad feelings until you can feel some faint happiness, and then you taper off the pills slowly trying to stay above the water and happy, until the pills are gone and experience full strength happiness. It takes time for the brain to adjust, the same way it takes time to relax after a stressful event.

    Some people also stay on the pills as it helps control emotional volatility too. For some people it does seem to help generally feel better too.

    The reality is nobody really understands exactly how those works making it hard to predict what it’ll do. We know what the molecule binds to and what those receptors are for, and what happens when there’s increased serotonin, but in the end it’s kind of just messing with knobs and figuring out if it’s better or worse. Ideally those are prescribed in concert with a therapist to externally measure the changes you might not see yourself, and adjust as needed. Unfortunately those also tend to be prescribed somewhat randomly at walk-in clinics with no proper followup.

    ive tried therapy

    King of same thing, it’s not magic, you don’t just talk and feel better. The purpose of therapy is helping untangle how you feel so you can find the root cause and actions to take to change course. Also identify patterns and cycles, like self-sabotage.

    Therapy with autism is complicated because we don’t quite process emotions and reality the same way, so it needs to be a different approach and few therapists have solid experience with autistic patients. Personally, I can only really feel “I feel okay” and some degree of “I feel like shit”, so one thing a therapist could do to help me is figure out whether I’m feeling anxiety, grief, pain.

    In turn that also requires you to open up during therapy, and to take it seriously. It’s not like a surgery or whatever where you go to power through it and come back home, if therapy is a chore it ain’t gonna work.


    For what it’s worth, when I was 19 I felt really crappy and doomed too. I didn’t think I’d ever dig myself out of it, but gradually I found my place in life and I’m doing alright now.

    Life is very messy.