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“Of course our cats aren’t being raptured too”
-Every Cat Owner
Rapture believers are the dumbest people in the world. If you know someone that believes in a hard date and time. Make sure they sign over all their assets before the rapture. Just tell them “Only people that give up all material possessions will be saved.”
God be like:
God power makes his pimp hand strong.
Just in case anyone needs this important resource.
What sort of fucking heavenly rapture wouldn’t let you take your pets with you?
Old testament God would totally do that
god is an arsehole
“They’re eating the pets”.
Rapture should work in the opposite way, all the assholes get teleported to Venus (they can take their billions, if they want) and instead we can enjoy the planet earth
It was addressed to anyone who saw it, tbf
I’td be funny to just empty a town and prank someone to believe the rapture took everyone but you
Jokes on her when the catpurr arrives.
Jokes on St Peter when 2 billion cats sit scratching at the gates but refuse to go in
That subtle undercurrent of “Christians” that always judges you in some way indirectly. The assumption of your lacking in some way, you don’t meet whatever made up standard they have in their heads. Especially if they figure out you don’t align with their religion or politics.
And also you still need to do stuff for them. You’re broken and weird and not good enough to hang with them but you are good enough to shine their shoes and dance for them and you should be grateful for the opportunity.
Like the after-church lunch rush cunts who tip with propaganda that looks like money at first
“You’re one of the good ones!”
Related: Mitchell & Webb: Good Samaritan
Its interesting to note that the Samaritans still exist today.
You’re going to choose the God who won’t take care of your cats?
this is when you sneak out, unseen, and take a week long vacation… make them think THEY were the ones left behind.
Bonus points if you leave outfits in a pile outside for each person living there.
It could be for anyone who was left behind and wandered there to see the sign
Why were their cats so bad that they wouldn’t get raptured?
I think we all knew that about cats.
Pretty sure the cats will get raptured before this lady.
