Do you care if your partner has had a lot of partners before you; does it turn you on that she has had a lot of dick inside her or do you absolutely get sick at the notion of the idea?

  • Buelldozer@lemmy.today
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    20 days ago

    I’ve only met teens and young adults who care about such things…

    Then you should get out more.

    If you’re icked that you’re not the first person to be intimate with someone…

    Ah, here’s the basis for your previous remark. You are either intentionally twisting the argument or you have some kind of cultural bias showing. There’s relatively few people who identify as men in the United States who care about “first” but there’s quite a few people of any sex or gender who care about being the 50th.

    …you need to ask yourself why the fuck does it matter?

    Yes sex feels good but so does eating and many people will absolutely judge those who fall into gluttony because they will not restrain themselves.

    …you need to ask yourself if it’s simply an issue with your ego and anxiety that the other person has had more or better experiences before than they have/will have with you.

    Different things interest different people. Some people want an experienced partner who already knows that they’re down for a three way on a balcony in Vegas because they’ve done it. Other people want a less experienced partner so they can experience the excitement of doing something that’s new to both of them. I’ve had and enjoyed both kinds of partners.

    And personally, nothing gives me the ick more than someone with a fragile ego.

    For me it’s judgy people who care too much about what other people think or do.

    • fartsparkles@lemmy.world
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      20 days ago

      “…you should get out more.”

      “…you have some kind of cultural bias showing.”

      “…many people will absolutely judge those who fall into gluttony…”

      “For me it’s judgy people who care too much about what other people think or do.”

    • ExhibiCat@lemmynsfw.com
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      19 days ago

      Yes sex feels good but so does eating and many people will absolutely judge those who fall into gluttony because they will not restrain themselves.

      But why restrain? This is what I don’t get. Eating too much has obvious drawbacks. Sex does not.

      You only get one life, might as well have as much fun as you can.

      I think this stems from the whole ‘sinful’ thing that religions try to push on us. It’s too bad because there’s no need for it. In the middle ages the church was the government and they didn’t want people screwing around when there was no contraception (too much hassle with orphans to take care of). That’s probably why they made a big deal out of it. But anyway I’m not religious so it doesn’t apply to me.

      Also there’s the STD thing but everyone I know in the now promiscuous community is checked regularly (I do every 3 months), using condoms and sometimes even PrEP. Also the more obscure vaccines like HPV (can cause nasty cancers these days!)

      Anyway I never really made a ‘count’. Because it just doesn’t matter. Probably not much more than 50.

      I’m more of the “sex positive” kind. We believe that sex (between consenting adults obviously) is a normal and beneficial human activity and nothing to feel ashamed about 🫶