Fortunately my parents have no expectations that I’ll be the caregiver, they both went through a lot with their parents and they know the role is absurd. They will appreciate a hefty contribution to a fancy retirement home though so I have a decade or two to save up
My parents were trying to guilt me the last few years that it will be my responsibility to look after them when the time comes that they need a caregiver.
I told them they could live with me if they are independent, but if they need professional care, then we would move them where they need to be for that, like a retirement home.
My parents were both offended by this clearly, but I saw what happened when my parents tried to be the caregiver to my grandfather when he got very old and it nearly tore our family apart basically having to have shifts to go and take care of him all so he could sit in a chair in his house. It sacraficed years of our lives and I delayed going to college for several years because of it. Family members are not professional caregivers and trying to be results in bad care and delays the inevitable of needing to go to a home.
Despite explaining all of this to them and them knowing how hard it was taking care of an elderly parent, they still feel like I have to do it. I asked them, “Did you only have kids to make sure someone will look after you when you are old,” and they get all flustered by that and never give a straight answer.
They have given up on me now and are currently guilting my siblings to look after them some day.
Thank fuck my grandparents were completely independent until they got very sick very quickly and died.
Two of my grandparents passed before I was born, of rather aggressive cancer. The other two lived completely independently until age-related illnesses got them in a matter of weeks.
I kinda hope that’s what happens to my parents; they’re in their mid 70s now and doing just fine on their own. My sister and I only need to help with with the occasional thing, like fixing stuff around the house that takes a decent amount of strength to do, or climbing ladders.
My parents were the exact opposite. My mom constantly reminded us how difficult it was to care for her mom and my dad’s father after they got sick. My dad was the same. Then my mom passed away early and suddenly. Now my dad is that fucking guy too. My sister and I will have none of it however. Mom taught us well.
I just turned 40. My mom passed from cancer 3 yrs ago. I got mine out of the way early.
Fuck my dad.
I actually care about my dad, and it was diabetes not cancer for my mom, but otherwise same. IDK WTF I can do if/when my dad ever needs care like that. Literally my biggest fear in life rn.
Man I feel this comment so fucking hard.
Hey, I see you too, buddy. We’ll be ok.
Turned 40 myself last week. My parents are still spry for now.
For now.
Time marches on.
I just turned 40. My dad died of COVID 5 years ago.
Fuck my mom.
Mark Cuban: Interesting pitch, I’m not positive I support your business model… But I’m willing to offer $50 for 75% of a handjob if Mr. Wonderful is willing to match my investment and offer your dad a rusty trombone.
Dad’s dead. Mom’s a bitch. I’m in the clear.
I don’t give a shit whatever culture you hail from … We are not responsible for our parents.
Millennial here. I went back to Canada to help my brother raise his kids. They’re autistic and he’s a shit parent (I don’t normally judge parents but when you wake up at 4pm on a weekend when your kid wakes up at 6am and I’m needing to come from another country to help … then yes, I get to say that).
When I got back there my brother told me I could buy his house (which I did). He was upping his own home and he said we could sell the parents house and downsize them to upsize his own house.
My brother then said that my mom and dad don’t want another house and they’re just LIVING in “my” house now. I’m getting guilt and shit all the fucking time. My brother took a majority of the sale of my parents house so he’s mortgage free in a huge house now.
I’m single in my 40s and now I’m waiting to see my retired parents die. It’s slowly killing me.
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We are not responsible for our parents.
I disagree. We have as much responsibility for them as they displayed towards us.
No. But, you do you.
Mom died in 2016. I’m no contact with my father and he “has the VA and doesn’t need me” so… Hooray?
He “has the VA”
My (step)dad is welcome any time. My mother can go hang out with that trump fucker she loves so much
My parents moved to Mexico about 12 years ago, they say the meds are cheaper and their doctor is great. They’re mid-60s now, not sure what they’re gonna do in their 80s when one or both of them need a nurse to get through the day.
