Several things going on here, and they all blend together.

  • She really, really thinks she’s ugly. Nothing debilitating I guess, but enough to scare me off talking about it.

  • Apparently braces are a Filipino thing, for young girls. She’s 54. Being Asian, she looks more like 40, still…

  • I think the above stems from the vanity of showing, “I’m rich enough to afford dental care and braces make me look young.”

  • Her teeth are perfect. When we started dating I asked how much longer she would have to wear them (bottom teeth only). She laughed her ass off like I was so silly! Said it was a fashion thing.

  • She’s very fashionable, so I feel like mentioning the thing would be a direct assault on her self esteem. No problem saying this or that does or doesn’t look good on her, but this feels way more personal than talking about a dress.

  • Now that we’ve been together a couple of years, I’m scared shitless she will think I found her ugly this whole time. Despite the fact I worship the ground she walks on. Daily.

  • No clue on the cost and we’re broke ATM. Maybe wait till I have a good job again?

Before anyone says it, of course we can speak freely to one another, just a sticky case for the reasons outlined. I feel removing her braces is the one thing she could do to be more attractive, and that would be a pretty (heh) big deal. We both put in the effort to be attractive to one another, that’s no big deal. But this one thing feels out-of-bounds, verboten.

Can’t answer till tomorrow. She’s off work in a minute.

    • shalafi@lemmy.worldOP
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      27 days ago

      Actually we don’t. Never known her to go, I don’t have insurance and we both have healthy teeth.

      • morphballganon@lemmy.world
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        27 days ago

        You have no business criticising someone else’s dental habits if you don’t at least go for regular check-ups yourself.

        If you were to go, you could ask the dentist how common braces are in your age group, and mention you know someone in your age group who has worn braces for x amount of time, and ask if they would have any concerns about that practice.