likely in response to my comments on the beehaw post, which i linked to (hopefully im doing this right?). apparently, calling people you dont know for the first time “they/them” before being told their pronouns is “misgendering”. absurd. this kind of attitude threatens the larger LGBTQ community and is partially why cishets hate us after we won so much progress back in the 00s and 10s.

im a queer person. im neurodivergent. this shit is so goddamn fucking annoying, especially as an older queer who got physically assaulted on a near daily basis for being queer in the 90s. the kids today get their panties in a twist over being supposedly “misgendered” by someone calling them gender neutral pronouns before being corrected. narcissistic victimhood bullshit.

anyways, now banned from one of my favorite instances. meanwhile in the US theyre planning on hunting us. but yeah, lets ban fellow queers over their view that people who get mad about being “misgendered” when they arent (cis people are also referred to as “they/them” before further context in a conversation with a stranger) are just attention seeking brats that threaten the larger movement. its so obvious to me that the brats who find reason to be offended over innocent pronoun use never faced real adversity, like getting repeatedly physically beaten.

edit - the best part of all of this is i faced no moderation from beehaw and all of my comments are +1 or higher. power tripping oversensitive neurodivergent hating bastard of a mod over at blahaj IMO.

edit 2 - did this wrong. heres a link to the post i think got me banned from blahaj and a screenshot about it https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/37659465

Edit 3 - apparently I did nothing wrong until I made my thoughts known about how the pronoun police fucked over the larger LGBTQ community as our rights are backsliding in America. Yall are gonna whine about being misgendered to the concentration camp guards at the rate we’re going. God forbid I be angry that while queers were busy fighting over pronouns our adversaries stuffed the courts, stuffed the school boards, couped the government, and are installing a fascist dictatorship. When I say that these fucking toddlers are going to learn what real oppression tastes like, that’s what I mean. It’s not that I want us to be hurt or oppressed (as the dog piling idiots have interpreted), it’s that the younger generation is weak as hell and lost the fucking plot in the fight for our rights. I grew up getting beaten in the streets for being queer only for these kids to claim their pronouns not being mind-read is oppression!

  • spujb@lemmy.cafeEnglish
    1·
    9 months ago

    You misunderstood the entire post it looks like.

    OP asks the question “what if I know or have been introduced to the person’s pronouns but forget?” This is visible in OP’s own admission: “I am terrible at remembering people’s pronouns.”

    Someone responded with slight misunderstanding or perhaps inclarity essentially saying “if you misgender someone you might seem bigoted.”

    Then instead of giving any good faith or asking for clarification, you responded with very high toxicity.

    Now, I can see that you misunderstood and thought the conversation was about people you don’t know, but your response was very inappropriate and normalizing of hate, using phrases like “For fucks sake this is why the heteros hate us. Younger queers need faux outrage to feel important.” Even the beehaw mod gave you a reprimand.

    That behavior and escalation of the conversation is terribly toxic and I do not blame blahaj for not giving you an in depth benefit-of-the-doubt investigation before deciding they didn’t want that behavior.

    Verdict: YDI but I get how this misunderstanding happened. My suggestion:

    • Reread the post and your comments.
    • Acknowledge your misunderstanding and apologize to the person you were toxic to.
    • Apologize and clarify the misunderstanding to blahaj.
    • Work on your deescalation skills.
  • apotheotic (she/her)@beehaw.orgEnglish
    1·
    9 months ago

    OP has revealed their true colours in their comments in the threads here. Fucking LGB alliance bullshit. If you wanna divide the queer community like this you are absolutely gatekeeping at best and straight up transphobic in all likelihood. I on the other hand will continue to love and support every single facet of the 2SLGBTQIA+ spectrum without calling something I don’t experience or understand “attention seeking brats”.

    “Never faced real adversity” Jesus Christ fuck you. If being denied the opportunity to marry officially is adversity then being denied your EXISTENCE officially is also fucking adversity. This is textbook gate keeping and ladder pulling. You fought for gay/lesbian/bisexual rights and you got somewhere with it and now that transgender and genderqueer people who don’t have their rights are asking for support you call them whiny piss babies.

    I’m trying my absolute best to bee nice as per my instance, but no. From the bottom of my autistic, transgender, lesbian heart - fuck you.

    And here’s the kicker. I could not be more opposed to you right now. BUT I will still fight for you and accept you as part of the queer community.

    Stop trying to hide behind your queerness or neurodivergence and take ownership of your bigotry and try to address it.

    Do not bother replying to me, OP, I will not read it. But I hope you grow.

    YDI

    • inv3r5ion@lemmy.dbzer0.comOPEnglish
      0·
      9 months ago

      LOL YOU THINK THIS IS ABOUT GAY MARRIAGE?

      No you dumb fuck, I used to be BEAT IN THE FUCKING STREET FOR 15 FUCKING YEARS OF MY LIFE.

      Hearing whiny fucks bitch and moan about how oppressed they are because somebody called them a they/them instead of he/him or she/her is fucking INFURIATING.

      And y’all don’t want to admit that the pronoun bullshit is why we’ve lost so much of what we gained. Y’all don’t want to admit that being whiny fucks made y’all lose the plot.

      So now we’re all at risk, from the bottom of my autistic lesbian heart, fuck all the people who got hung up on pronouns instead of fighting the real fucking fights. Pronouns in your bio and rainbows in the street and corporate rainbow washing didn’t do fucking shit for any of us but the kids bought it hook line and sinker.

      While queers were whining about their pronouns the federalist society took over our courts. While queers were whining about their pronouns our country got couped. Queers are gonna be whining about their pronouns all the way to the concentration camp guards.

      • apotheotic (she/her)@beehaw.orgEnglish
        1·
        9 months ago

        God you’re insufferable. Fine I’ll bite.

        I used gay marriage as a way to help you see similarities.

        Answer me one question, real quick: do you think transgender and genderqueer people are oppressed?

        • inv3r5ion@lemmy.dbzer0.comOPEnglish
          0·
          9 months ago

          YES! But not because somebody accidentally called them they!

          Fucking HELL the dog piling omg my feelings are hurt queers are insufferable

          I don’t give a fuck about gay marriage I give a fuck about my physical safety in the streets my generation fought long and hard for only for the pronoun police generation to piss away

          • apotheotic (she/her)@beehaw.orgEnglish
            1·
            9 months ago

            Cool at least you understand that we’re oppressed.

            You act like all we suffer is pronouns and other stuff you consider inconsequential. We’re being beaten and bullied at school, we’re being murdered, we’re having entire government campaigns created to eradicate us. You’d think that under all that oppression, we could at least expect a member of our queer community to not call us piss babies for wanting our pronouns respected.

            You should give a fuck about gay marriage and you should give a fuck about the erasure of the existence of transgender people. You should also give a fuck about any of us being beaten or abused or denied the life saving healthcare we require. You don’t need to draw a line in the sand conveniently at issues that don’t affect you.

  • Ledivin@lemmy.world
    0·
    9 months ago

    Your problem was trusting an instance to be pro-trans when they explicitly support anti-trans trolls like drag. They don’t care about the community or the effects of their rules, they just like being able to make them and have power.

  • schizo@forum.uncomfortable.businessEnglish
    0·
    9 months ago

    Okay I have to ask: if you don’t know someone’s gender, but you can’t call them uh, they/them, then what in the fuck are you supposed to do exactly?

    Like, I fully get doing it in person can be being a dick, but on the internet where you absolutely do not know unless someone tells you?

    That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard today, and I was on reddit earlier.

    • Blaze (he/him) @lemmy.dbzer0.com
      0·
      9 months ago

      Ask for the platform to have pronouns built in.

      I’m sceptical about hexbear as much as the next person, but they pronouns mandatory policy was a good one

      • flamingos-cant (hopepunk arc)@feddit.ukEnglish
        0·
        9 months ago

        IDK, this would force closeted trans people either to out themselves or misgender themselves. Not everyone is in a position where it’s safe to be themselves, even online.